Espada Interviews
by gonyonomaru
Summary: Want to learn more about the Espada s and Shinigami in Hueco Mundo... well here is your chance! This is a parody of what really goes on there... enjoy!
1. Grimmjow

Hello and welcome to my new story! In this one I will interview a few different people in Hueco Mundo. Mostly Espada's but Aizen, Gin, and Tosen are going to be interviewed as well. First one to be interviewed is Grimmjow! OH and a quick note: I got the idea of using different text styles for a different character from Lady Khali of .

Grimmjow Jeagerjack

Interview Questions

_Grimmjow's answers_

_**Ulquiorra's comments**_

1. Why are you an espada?

_I like to kill. Espada's kill. That's reason enough.__**Trash, we are all Espada's to serve Aizen-sama. **__Aizen-sama my ass, that's not the reason I became an espada. _

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_Of course not! I'm stronger than that bastard Ulquiorra so I should be the fourth espada, not him!__**Pfft, you know that's not true. **__Why don't you say that to my face you bastard! __**I did you blind trash. **_Ulquiorra, stop annoying Grimmjow, this is after all his interview.

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Ulquiorra. If I fight him __I will defeat him once and for all!__** You nearly died in our last battle, you are no where near winning. **__Just shut up you stupid emo._

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_I don't have time for that. Liking someone isn't going to make me stronger.__**Finally something we agree on.**_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Straight. 100% straight, without question. Gays are just so creepy.__**Straight? But I thought you told Nnoitra that- **__SHUT UP That's none of your business you eavesdropper!_

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_You want the truth? I would quickly kill myself before that would happen. I just said gays were creepy and I am _not_ creepy! Nor will I ever be, now stop with these stupid questions damn it. __**Someone is a little defensive eh Grimmjow?**_

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_No! He let Tosen cut my arm off; of course I'm not happy. I hope that bastard drops dead any second now.__**Take that back, Aizen-sama made you what you are now and he rules with reason. **_

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_Hands down we will. Those shinigami are so weak I could take them all on and come out of the battle without a scratch!__**You couldn't but I agree, we will win.**_

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_I'm going to die in the greatest battle of my life and I will be happy. __**I will kill him, and he definitely won't be happy.**_

10. Who is your best friend?

_Best friend? Don't have one. But people keep insisting that Ulquiorra is my best friend. Are they insane? I have on multiple occasions said that I wanted him dead, is that what you say to a friend? No, I didn't think so.__**Correct.**_

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_I would want all the power in the world. That way I can kill Ulquiorra with a twitch of my finger and then I'll never have to see that self righteous look on his face again!__**Self righteous look on my face? You know that's a lie, you love that look.**_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_Hawaii... awesome beaches and hot babes.__**He means hot dudes.**_

13. What are your hobbies?

_Training, trying to kill Ulquiorra, training, and training.__**Don't forget acting gay and running that 'secret' animal shelter back in Japan.**_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_Awww how cute! I would take it in and love it with all my heart and wait a second, that's not what I mean. I would kill that kitten and make myself a hat out of its fur. Ohh, who am I kidding, I could never kill a cute little kitten.__**... I have nothing to add.**_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_Kill myself. Fat people are weak and I am not weak. But just because I would kill myself doesn't mean I'm suicidal!__**Nnoitra wouldn't let you kill yourself, he likes fat sex.**_

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_That's for me to know and for you to never, ever find out.__**He lost one of his balls and I found it in the laundry. **__What, no that's not true, I didn't loose it... it was stolen. __**By who? The ball thief? **__No, Szayel! __**...lovely...**_

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I am afraid of nothing. Fear is for losers.__**He's deathly afraid of black people ever since the Tosen incident.**_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Starving kittens out on the street make me sad! How can something so cute have to suffer so much! And no, loving kittens does not make me a creepy cat man.__**Creepy cat man. **_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Yeeeessss I would grab my sword and kill him right then and there. Then I would sell his corpse to all his crazy fan girls. They could rip it into shreds amongst themselves.__**Bastard!**_

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Umm... Don't tell anyone but I would quietly sneak out of the room and try to make sure he doesn't notice me. Last time he did that I could not poop for a week because my ass hurt so much.__**Too much information. **_Yeah, I have to agree with that.

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, none I am perfectly sane and mentally stable. __**Not for long.**_

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_If I was given the opportunity then yes. __I am after power, not staying loyal to Aizen. __**If you dare betray Aizen I will personally hunt you down and kill you in a very painful way. **__Ooo looks like I hit a nerve huh emo clown?_

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_Yes. What else would Gin always be smiling about? __**I disagree. **__You always disagree, and you can bitch about that all you want in your interview. __**I will.**_

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_Bleh, no. __**You're just too stupid to appreciate tea. **__Sure, if that will make you shut up then yes._

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Nnoitra because he still thinks that condoms are __little transparent hats for midgets. __**...That is stupid.**_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Ulquiorra is the gayest! Have you seen the way he looks at Aizen! You can feel the gayness radiating off him. __**Grimmjow, I had no idea that blank stares radiated gayness. **__Well they do, but only for you._

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_No, kids need time and I need to train so I don't have time. __**And yet you somehow have enough time to run that animal shelter. **__Will you just drop that? __**No. Never. **_

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Blue. Why does everyone hate the question? It's just a colour. _

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_I have to say a nine because I'm not perfect until I defeat Ulquiorra. __**I give him a four and he will never be perfect.**_

30. What do you think about humans?

_Some are hot, some are ugly__, I like the hot ones. __**Trash.**_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_Feel? What sort of question is that? But if you must know, I hate them. __**It's only because they're all poisonous, you're not supposed to eat them. Idiot. **__Shut up, I only did that once!_

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Who? __**Yes, who is this Justin Beiber and is he a threat to our plans? **_Never mind...

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_Oh, that ninja place where they learn all those fancy shmansy hand signs? It's okay I guess, but its kinda wimpy that so few of them know how to sword fight. __**It's all crap.**_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_No! The author made Strawberry dude kill Ulquiorra, and I lost to both of them! Oh and on top of that no one knows if I'm dead or alive, including me! __**I'm dead, how do you think I feel?**_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_Actually yes, __I would like a chance to fight all those wimpy ninja's in Naruto. __**I wouldn't leave Aizen-sama.**_

36. Do you drink?

_Not too much... __**He drinks three six-packs a day.**_

37. Do you smoke?

_No. __**Shockingly this is the truth.**_

38. Do you gamble?

_Not a lot. __**Again, true.**_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_Repent to Aizen? Who the hell comes up with these questions! _I do. _Oh, well then... CUT THE CRAP! __**Well, I like the questions.**_

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Kill it! __**Baka.**_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_...How would he do that? Would he like climb on my head and then... eww... you're gross. __**I have to agree.**_

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be completely blue, huge, __and the most beautiful house in the world! __**You've got your head in the clouds.**_

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No, I. Must. Train. No time to get married. _

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I'm okay with snow and sun but damn it I hate rain! It's all wet and yucky. __**I like the rain...**_

45. What is your lucky number?

_666! __**She said lucky, not unlucky dumb ass.**_

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be... Death! __**How foolish.**_

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No! Are you insane! You saw what they did to Nnoitra right? _Oh yeah... That was funny. _**Indeed.**_

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_Pimp, and Ulquiorra is my bitch. __**That makes you sound gay with me. **__Opps._

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, fake power is not real power and it is not something I am interested in. __**We can agree on this.**_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Like crap. You made me sound so gay! _No, that was all you... and Ulquiorra helped too. _**Yes, see Grimmjow, you should be nice to humans or they will make you sound sooo gay.**_

Thoughts?


	2. Ulquiorra

Ulquiorra Shiffer

Interview Questions

_Ulquiorra's Answers_

_**Grimmjow's 'helpful' comments**_

1. Why are you an espada?

_To serve Aizen-sama. __**No, he just needs an excuse to be around him so he doesn't look like such a gay stalker.**_

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_Yes, Aizen-sama gave me my rank and my power. __**What if Aizen gave you a flaming bag of dog crap, would you be happy then? **__Actually, yes. _

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Kurosaki Ichigo, he's... interesting. __**Don't you mean me! Hello! I'm your nemesis!**_

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_No. __**He loves Orihime. **__No, I don't! __**Really now, then why do you have all those pictures of her on your wall? **__Stay out of my room._

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Neutral, I have none of those organs. __**What...? Then... then... how do you pee? **__I don't. _

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_Aizen-sama. __**Ewwwww.**_

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_Always. __**He sucks. **__Shut up, this is my interview not yours, trash._

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_Yes, Aizen-sama will lead us to victory. __**Why do you keep calling him Aizen-sama? **__...Because I want to..._

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_...I'm going to die? __**You see this interviewer; this is what I have to deal with every day! Ulquiorra and his stupidity. **__Well, at least I'm not trash like you!_

10. Who is your best friend?

_Grimmjow. __**What? Do you... do you mean that...? **__No, of course not you idiot._

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_I would want Aizen-sama to give me a hug. __**Aww, poor emo clown is feeling a bit unloved? **__Shut up._

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_I don't take vacation. I have to work. __**It would be in hell because he secretly wants to get to know Satan. **_..._! How did you know!_

13. What are your hobbies?

_Training and taking care of Grimmjow when he's sick. __**Hey, no! Don't bring that up, I was only sick once and stupid Szayel kept trying to shove a thermometer up my ass so I needed you there to protect me!**_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_Show it to Grimmjow before killing it front of his eyes. I'll do anything to make him suffer. __**You monster!**_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_Hide from Nnoitra, I don't want to get raped. __**You got that right.**_

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_I am perfect, I do not embarrass myself. __**He tried holding hands with Aizen but he got rejected. **__That's a lie! _Actually... this video looks pretty real to me. _**Ha, I told you!**_

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I fear nothing. __**Nothing that we know of that is.**_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Not knowing things, that's why I'm always around Grimmjow. He's so stupid I feel like a genius compared to him. __**That's the reason why! I thought it was because you liked me!**_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Ask him what he wants me to do for him. __**That's just gross.**_

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Unlike last time, I would run. __**There was a last time?**_

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, I am honest. __**Suuurreeee...**_

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_Never. __**Not even if I gave you pictures of Orihime in the shower? **__No need, I already have those. _No Ulquiorra, don't worry, that is not creepy at all. Poor Orihime.

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_No. __**Yeah, he still can't get his memory back from when he walked in on them having sex so he thinks the answer is no. **_

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_Yes. __**Bleh.**_

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Yammy__, he's fat and stupid. However, the shocking thing is that he hasn't been raped by Nnoitra yet. __**He hasn't? Wow, lucky guy.**_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Definitely Nnoitra. __**I agree.**_

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_Kids... but that mean I would have to... eww. __**Wow, I didn't know Ulquiorra was disgusted by sex.**_

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Dark green. __**Laaaaameeee.**_

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_An eight... because Aizen-sama still won't accept me! __**Creepy.**_

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are trash. _But you used to be a human once. _So, I evolved from the trash and now... I am perfect! __**Evolved from trash? Where do you get this stuff?**_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_I feel nothing, they are useless. __**Really? Well then why did I see you trying to feed a spider a dead fly? **__None of your business you stupid fool. __**Ouch.**_

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Who is he and what does he want? _*Looking up Justin Beiber songs and muttering 'this is so gay.'* Well, he doesn't want anything, but he 'Needs Somebody to Love'. _That is disturbing. _

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_They are all weak fools, but I do like that really strong Madara dude, he reminds me of Aizen-sama. __**I didn't know Aizen wore a mask and pranced around like a loon on crack and screamed 'TOBI IS A GOOD BOY'. **_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_No. She killed me. __**Haha. **__Shut up, you're probably dead too. __**Oh... right...**_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_No, I would stay with Aizen-sama. __**Even if he was gay with Gin? **__Shut up, shut up, shut up!_

36. Do you drink?

_No. __**He's afraid to find out what he's like when he's drunk.**_

37. Do you smoke?

_Yes, it's very relaxing. __**And it's very gross and smelly. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No. __**He needs his money to spend on make-up.**_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_All the time. __**How unnerving.**_

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Cero it and then go have a shower. __**Hahaha.**_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_Inform Tosen that he needs to go and help Wonderweis wipe his ass. __**Serves him right.**_

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be as big as Hueco Mundo and it would have naked statues of Aizen everywhere. __**I wouldn't want to go to your house. **__Who said I would invite you, trash? _

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No, Orihime loves that stupid Kurosaki Ichigo. __**Ha, jealous. **_

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I love the rain. __**That definitely doesn't make you sound emo.**_

45. What is your lucky number?

_Four. __**What a small number.**_

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be __Ulkiorra. __**What's the difference? **__It's spelt differently. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No, __After the whole Nnoitra fiasco I no longer trust fans. __**Same here.**_

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

..._I have no answer. __**He's the bitch.**_

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_Do diet pills count? __**That is just sad.**_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Like I should go to my room and sulk. _Okay, you go do that, thanks for the interview! _No problem. __**What are you going to do? **_My next interview is with Nnoitra, I'm off to go get myself some Medieval armour to hide myself. Just because he's know to rape guys doesn't mean I feel safe. _**Have fun. **_

Reviews?


	3. Nnoitra

This one's gonna be an interesting one, I can just feel it.

Nnoitra

Interview Questions

_Nnoitra's Answers_

_**Nel's Comments**___(She's an adult in this one)

1. Why are you an espada?

_To be able to fight whoever I want! __**Isn't it to be able to **_**rape **_**whoever you want?**_

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_No! That bitch Nel is __not one but two ranks ahead of me! That's not fair! __**What are you, four? You are supposed to learn just how unfair life is in hollow school. **__Don't remind me... I hated school._

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Nel, __so that I can prove men are always stronger than women! __**Well, it clearly hasn't worked so far. **_

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_Maybe... __**He likes Gin but he's all sad because he keeps getting rejected. **__Shut up! It's not my fault that my competition is Aizen!_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Bi. But I have to say I like men more, they are stronger. __**Will you just stop with the 'men are stronger than women' crap! **__No... but I might if you sleep with me and prove that you are stronger... __**I would rather die.**_

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_Change it? Well then I would be gay with Gin, after killing Aizen! __**Dream on loser.**_

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_No, did you hear about that rule that there is no raping people between midnight and three a.m.! _Actually no, but I'm guessing it's because he got sick of listening to tortured screams coming from your room. _** Well... yes that and I suggested it to him. **__You bitch!_

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_Yes! __We Espada's are all powerful! __**I have to disagree, those Shinigami are pretty strong... **__Traitor!_

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_In the greatest battle of my life! But it's not going to be with Nel, I'm going to die killing Stark! __**News flash, Stark is dead. **__Spoiler!_

10. Who is your best friend?

_I would like to think it's Gin, but I'm not sure. __**Gin hates you.**_

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_Gin's love! __**What's up with you and Gin? This interview is about **_**you **_**not Gin.**_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_On the wonderful, sandy beaches of San Francisco, but can Gi-. __**If you even so much as say his name I will personally rip your neck out! **__Ouch. _

13. What are your hobbies?

_Does stalking and raping people count? _Sure. _Then there you go. __**How disturbing.**_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_I would dress it up in a leather costume and it would be my sex magnet. __**Oh yeah, because that would **_**definitely **_**work. **__What's up with all that sarcasm! _

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_Oh my gosh! It would be a crisis of biblical proportions! __I like fat people, but if _I _was fat... I would... dieeeeeeeee! Gin doesn't like fat people! He just likes big boobs. __**And you know this how? **__Why would I tell you, stupid big boobed woman._

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_I have to admit that the most embarrassing thing I did was lie on Gin's bed naked, waiting for him. But instead Aizen came in and__ grinned at me, I haven't been able to look at him the same since. __**How creepy... I don't think I wanted to know that. **_Me either, but work is work and you learn what you learn.

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I am afraid of... well... nothing I guess. __**Yeah, that's about right. A few months ago I tried using everything and anything to scare him, but nothing worked.**_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Seeing Gin and Aizen smiling at each other creepily makes me sad. __**It just creeps me out.**_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Run. I have to say that I understand that he is much stronger than me so I know that I wouldn't be able to stop him if he tried to do anything. __**And yet you can never seem to admit that I am stronger than you. **__That's because you're not!_

20. What would you do if you found Gin naked in your bed?

_Thank the lord and then rape him while he was defenceless! __**After this interview, remind me to tell Gin never to walk into your room naked.**_

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, but I might be a sex addict. __**Might?**_

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_If it meant that I would have Gin, then yes. __**You would do anything for Gin wouldn't you? **__Yes._

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! STOP RUBBING IT IN MY FACE!__ *Attacks interviewer* _Nel... help! He's trying to choke me! _*__**Smack* Get off her! **__Fine! But stop with the Aizen Gin questions! _ Thanks Nel, but I still have one more Aizen question for you. Live with it you pussy.

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_No, but I drink it because Aizen makes all of us do it. __**He doesn't make me drink tea. **__Shut up._

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Yammy, he's just so dumb. __**I have to agree with that.**_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Szayel, he keeps trying to stick thermometers up people's asses. Even if they're not sick... __**I thought you were the gayest Espada. **__I'm not! Im BI!_

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_No, kids take time and attention and I don't think I'm willing to give away any of that. __**He's just afraid of commitment. **_

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Light green... it's so pretty... __**Hey! That's **_**my **_**favourite colour! **_

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_Um... I have to say it would be a seven. I'm not perfect. __**How modest of you to admit that. **__Thank you._

30. What do you think about humans?

_Most of the one's I've met are fat or bitchy... so I love them! __**How interesting. Are you sure you don't have a brain tumour or something, maybe that's why you have that hole in your head!**_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_Feel? What a stupid question... I feel nothing to them, I can't have sex with them or eat them so they are useless. __**Too much information there.**_

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Nah, he's too young for me to do anything with him and he's kinda skinny... __**Who?**_

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_I love that Choji guy! He's fat but strong. The only thing I don't like about him s that he wears what looks like underwear on his head.__**I like Uzumaki Naruto. **_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_No, I'm dead but I guess I died happy... so it all evens out. __**I got my memory back, I like the author. **_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_I guess I would. I want a chance to see how strong them ninja's are. __**I wouldn't switch... That creepy Jirraya guy doesn't seem right to me.**_

36. Do you drink?

_Yeah. __**He has a good taste in beer. **__Ha, finally something you like about me!_

37. Do you smoke?

_No. __**I wonder why... **__Have you seen Ulquiorra's fingers and teeth without make up on them? That's why!_

38. Do you gamble?

_Yes! It's so much fun! __**You always loose... **__Shut up!_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_Repent to Aizen? If I did that I would never be able to leave his throne room. __**Haha.**_

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Chase the bird and kill it! No bird dares poop on my head! __**I just knew I should get you a pigeon for Christmas!**_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_Wonderweis...? __How the hell would he manage to do that? Wouldn't I notice and try to stop him? __**No, he would do anything to get some action, even if it is someone pooping on his head. **_

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be a huge medieval __type fortress! Oh yeah, speaking of which, why are you wearing medieval armour? _I am a human surrounded by Espada's and traitorous Shinigami, what reason do I have _not _to wear armour? _**Oh... that's why! Smart thinking.**_

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_I don't think Gi__n is the marrying type, so no. __**I guess now is not a good time to tell you that Aizen and Gin are getting married. **__*faints* __**Nnoitra! You okay! **_Oh my gosh, is he dead? _**No, he's just unconscious **_Oh, Okay, I guess we should take a break then. _**Yeah...**_

Twenty minutes later...

_**Nnoitra... get up. **__What happened? __**You fainted when I told you Aizen and Gin were getting married. **__*faints again* _Damn it stop saying it!

Twenty more minutes later...

Nnoitra wake up! _Huh... where am I? __**You're in the interviewing room. **__Oh... right! But... why did I faint? __**It wad because I told you that Ai- **_Don't you dare say it! I have to interview Szayel soon and I don't have any more time for this! Let's get back to the interview! _Okay. __**Sure.**_

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I like the sun! It's brig__ht and sunny! __**Nah, he just likes the sun because he knows that the hotter it is the less clothing people wear. **_

45. What is your lucky number?

_Five! _Wow, you espada's keep choosing your own number as a favourite. _**Yeah, that is interesting.**_

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be Insithor! __**Isn't that from that family guy episode where Stewie's teeth are growing out and he's in pain? **__Actually, yes. _Haha I loved that episode... but wait, you guys have television up here? _Yeah, there is a huge big screen TV in the throne room and we watch TV when Aizen isn't there. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_Are you kidding! You were there when I got attacked by them! So of course not! Never, ever, ever, ever, ever! __**Wow, someone's hyper. **_Yeah, and can you please stop screaming into the microphone because the sound get fuzzy when you do that.

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_Pimp. Without question, I am a pimp. __**I wish he wasn't.**_

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_Bah! That's crap and it's fake so no, never, ever, ever, ever! _I TOLD YOU TO STOP SCREAMING INTO THE FUCKING MICROPHONE! Opps... _**Smooth...**_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Like crap. __**Serves you right Mr. I'm-obsessed- with-Gin-so-I-talked-about-him-for-half-of-the-interview. **_Thank you for letting me interview you, and Nel thank you for commenting. Your words were very insightful. _**No problem, I'll be seeing you around Las Noches then. **_Yeah, unless somewhere along the line an angry Espada kills me. _I might... __**Don't you dare! **_

So... did you guys like it?


	4. Szayel

Its Szayel, so expect scientific crack, haha, life is sooo good.

Szayel

Interview Questions

_Szayel's Answers_

_**Yammy's comments**_

1. Why are you an espada?

_To be able to experiment in my laboratory, and to be stronger of course. Can there possible be any other reason that would satisfy itself to the answer for this specific question? __**I have no idea what you just said. **__That is because you are unintellectable. _

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_Ranks are not really used as a measure of power. __It has been proven on multiple occasions that if one's rank is lower than someone else's then they will strive to be stronger and will eventually surpass their predecessor. So, as an answer to the question I am happy with my 'rank' because it means that eventually I will best all of those technically ahead of me. __**...Can you speak in regular hollow? I don't understand all of this weird sciency stuff. **__No, I can not and sciency is not a word. Also the word 'stuff' should not be used in intelligent conversation because it implies stupidity. _

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_I wish to fight no one, you should change the question to 'who do you want to experiment on the most and why'. _Alright, Szayel, who do you want to experiment on most and why? Oh, and try to keep it short because if all of your answers are as long as the ones above I simply won't have enough patience to transcribe it all on paper afterward. _Noted, and I would like to experiment on Aizen's brain because I want to see if there is the possibility that he has the gene for being traitorous. If I was to discover it, I would be famous! __**You don't want to fight anyone? How lame!**_

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_In fact, I do. __I really like that African American woman that was on the December 2008 issue of Playboy Magazine. __**Oh, her! You know she's a porn star right? **__Yes, but that doesn't matter to me. Even if she is not the cleverest human specimen there is she is very attractive. _

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_As you can see from above, it is straight. __**Finally, you're setting the record straight. For years people have thought that you were gay so they stayed away from you. **__Yes, I know._

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_If I was forced into being gay I would be with __Tosen. It seems you have this fetish for African American people. __**You got that right, weirdo. **__Oh yes, and your fetish for eating babies souls is not weird at all. _

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_Yes, he rules with reason and I have to begrudgingly admit that he may be smarter than me in the leading spectrum of the mind. __**Spectrum of the mind? What's that? **__Go look it up in the dictionary. Actually scratch that, you probably can't spell spectrum. __**Hey! That was mean! **__No it wasn't, the correct term is rude._

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_I have done countless numbers of power statistics for both hollow and shinigami along with many different scenarios and I believe that in the end Espada's will win. So far, in all the scenarios all the Espada's die but Aizen and Gin are left to be able to destroy Karakura town and then they can get Orihime to revive all of us. __**I'm going to die! Why didn't you tell me!**_

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_A__s I said above, I will die in the winter war either at the hands of Abarai Renji, Uuryu Ishida, or Kurotchi Mayuri. __**Wow, that's pretty specific. **__This is my death we are talking about, it must be specific. _

10. Who is your best friend?

_Sadly, I have no friends. As the 'evil' scientist of Hueco Mundo, I am not very well liked by anyone. In fact, I have done a survey and I have found out that the majority of residents in Las Noches despise me. __**Aww, poor Szayel, don't worry I still like you. **__Considering you are so obtuse that is little consolation. __**Meanie.**_

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_Hmm... __Something I've dreamt about having is an anti-matter molecule creating device. All the previous attempts to create it ended up in horrible explosions and one time I accidentally created a black hole that nearly killed us all. __**Oh! So that's what that was! I thought it was a giant cero! **__You should know that no hollow in Hueco Mundo has a black cero. I have proved that impossible long ago and I clearly remember telling you meaning that you didn't listen to me. __**Of course I listened! I just... didn't understand. **_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_On an inhabited part of the moon. I know that eventually __humans will make such a base and I would like to spend my vacation there. __**Human's are on the moon? Wow! **_

13. What are your hobbies?

_I experiment in my laboratory, that is my job, my hobby, and my love. __**You love to work? Wow, you're more of a nerd that I thought. **_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_It would be a nice specimen __for me try out my newest invention; cero manipulation from hair. If we can shoot cero's out of our mouth and hands then why not our hair?__** That would be so cool! I would be able to shoot a cero out of everywhere!**_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_I would study the phenomenon and try to figure out __why it happened. Then I would figure out that fastest way to naturally loose the weight. After that I could go to the Earth and sell the idea for millions of dollars which I could then you to by nuclear materials. Those are very hard to come by here in Hueco Mundo. __**What would you do with the nuclear stuff? **__Make many bombs that I would be able to use to threaten North Korea into giving me its vast supply of war weapons. _

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_I have to say that it would have to be the time I accidentally blew my legs off. I have a very hard time peeing for a full week. __**Too much info there... **_Yeah, but still it's pretty funny.

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I am afraid of nothing. Fear is an irrational part of the mind which I have long ago __suppressed and not used. However, I can say that I used to be afraid of death. Not anymore though, this is exactly why I constantly use myself as an experimental vessel. __**I can't imagine experimenting on myself... it sounds creepy. **_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Just like above, I have eliminated the sad part of my brain so no longer feel that emotion. Something that used to make me sad was if I failed any of my experiments. However, now it just tells me that I know another way how not to complete was I wish to do. __**It wouldn't make me sad, I would just be very, very angry. **_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Seeing as he is multitudes stronger than me, I would just lay there and see what he would want me to do. __**Even if he wanted to rape you? **__Yes, you got that correctly. _

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Once again, he is stronger than me, but not by much so I would take my hand at trying to get out of the bed and capturing him. He would be a fine __specimen for examination. __**You would dress him right? **__No. Clothes are quiet useless but since we are used to them I wear them. _

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_Technically I can be put into the class of __mentally unstable mad scientists, but I know that I am different from them. For one, this is my job and if I wasn't willing to take risks then I wouldn't be cut out for the job. __**You get paid? I don't! **__Yes, I get my income from all the inventions I sell. Aizen gives none of us money. _

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_If there was a good reason to then yes, but in general I trust him to the extent that I would not betray him__. __**What would be a good reason? **__If he went insane, then he would no longer be fit to be the ruler and I would feel free to betray him. _

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_Unfortunately, yes __I do. I have heard them doing stuff to each other every time I pass the throne room. Trust me, it's not a pretty sound. __**Don't you mean those strange moans and sloppy noises? **__Yes. _

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_Yes, it is relaxing and I have been able to prove that it stimulates the brain__ enough to increase brain power by 1.5%. __**Only 1.5%? That's nothing! **__On the contrary, it is enough to power twenty florescent light bulbs. _

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_I have to say that Yammy is the stupidest because __he is constantly not understanding what is going on. __**Hey! I'm right here! **__Yes, I can see that, but I should not be bias while being interviewed. _

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_I think that it is Nnoitra because __he keeps trying to rape people and it is no way being kept as secret. __**I haven't been raped yet! **__You're just lucky. __**What? You have? **__Don't remind me._

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_I like to think that all my inventions are my children so I technically already have children. _I'm talking about actual breathing and alive babies. _Oh, in that case, no I do not want children because they are too troublesome to take care of. I have better things to do than be a father. Plus, I have found no worthy women that have the genetic capabilities to give birth to a half hollow child. Hollows can't have children or get pregnant, but humans can. _

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Pink and unlike popular belief it is not a gay colour. Colours don't have genders, but we give them genders because it is in human nature to categorize things and judge them. __Oh and why isn't Yammy commenting? _He went to the bathroom. He might be a while because at lunch I saw him eating a really large chilly cheese burger with pizza and a large iced latte for a drink. _Yes, you're right; he is going to be a while. Meaning it's just you and me in this room. Would you mind putting your hands above your head so that I can give you an examination? I want to see what gene you are missing that makes you have such small breasts in comparison to Orihime. _Umm... How awkward...I don't think I want to do that... so... NEL HELP ME! ***Smash* Opps, I think I broke the door. **It's okay, but can you get Szayel away from me... I don't like the looks of that needle. **Sure! **Thanks. Oh look Yammy is back. _**What happened to the door? **_**Szayel happened, that's what. **Well then I guess since Yammy is here I don't need your protection, thanks again Nel. **Yup, no problem!**

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_I give myself an eight because__ that is my rank and so that must theoretically be my number of worth. __**That makes me a ten! Haha, I'm more than you! **__No, that theory only works for intelligent people and you are not one of those people. __**Asshole. **_

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are very good for experiment__s, but I think that their emotions are far too involved in their lives. Most of them are incapable of making reasonable decisions because of that. __**They are yummy. **_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_Insects are a marvel all on their own. __They are truly amazing and I would like a chance to study them, but Aizen has convinced me that it is not a reasonable plan of action so I am doing no study on insects until I am done all of my hollow research. __**Why would you want to study insects? They're so small and useless... I don't think I'll ever be able to understand you. **_

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Oh that young fellow, yes I do like his songs. They are very entertaining because I find it funny to __see how his voice is so high when he sings, but it is so low when he speaks. __**He's totally gay. **_

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_That is a very controversial manga, __I still don't see how a few simple hands sighs can make the elements move and create themselves. It is strange, but the underlying message of the manga is very geniusly hidden and in plain sight at the same time. It has my respect. __**What underlying message? It's just a bunch of ninja that fight!**_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_Yes, __she is very smart and to have been able to create a character such as myself is a great feat in my eyes. __**I know how simple it is to create a character like you, all you do is draw a gay ass and then you're done. **_I have to say that it would be funny to see Szayel replaced by a picture of an ass.

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_No. All my equipment and work is here so I have too much to loose by leaving. If I didn't have so much baggage or a way back then I would definitely change anime's. I believe that it would be a very educational experience to __see what goes on in that world. __**I would change in a heartbeat; I want to see what a ninja's soul tastes like!**_

36. Do you drink?

_No. That kills brain cells and I need all of mine to work. __**That's so geeky. **_

37. Do you smoke?

_No. That kills lung cells and I need all of mine to breathe. __**Again, geeky. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No. That makes money go away and I need all of mine to fund my work. __**You have no fun at all do you?**_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_I do not feel the emotion of guilt, so I don't have to repent anything. __Even when I did fell remorse I didn't repent because right now he is not technically a god, he's still in the transitional faze. In next week's addition of Bleach he might hatch but I guess we just have to wait and see. __**Hey! Stop spoiling it for other readers! **__Oh, then to all the readers, forgive me for spoiling this for you. _

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_I would catch it and see if maybe it has a special muscle to make it __expel its excrements when it is above a person. __**Oh and what would that prove? **__That birds hate humans. _

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_I would go get Tosen so that I could get him to ask Wonderweis why he would do such a thing. Then of course I would have a shower. __**Wouldn't you dissect the poop? **__No, I've done that enough already. _Eww... that's pretty gross.

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be very large and it would be filled with all of the state of the art scientific equipment of the world. __**Why does everything have to do with science for you? **__I am a scientist, why do you think?_

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No. I have too much work to do to waste my time on women and marriage. __**Ouch. **_Yeah, I feel sorry for all your fans that really love you.

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_Weather is of no importance to __me because I don't go outside that much. __**Hermit. **__Are insults all that you are capable of? __**Right now, yes.**_

45. What is your lucky number?

_Eight. __It's my number so as expected it is my favourite number. __**I have to favourite numbers, zero and ten. **_

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be Szayaro Nobel. __I feel there is no need to explain my name. __**Even if I asked? **__Yes. _What if I asked? _Fine, I'll explain. The first name would be Szayaro because it is the Spanish version or Szayel and it sounds much more attractive. The last name would be Nobel after Alfred Nobel, the first Nobel Prize winner. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No, I know for a fact that they would end up __destroying a vast number of my work so no, never. __**Plus after we all saw what happened to Nnoitra we're afraid of our fans. **_

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_I am neither because I have no time for sexual encounters. _Okay, I know how to get the answer. When Nnoitra was raping you, were you on top or the bottom? _I was the side, the Gin plushie was at the bottom. __**How disturbing. **_I have to agree.

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_Of course, all the time. I am a scientist and I believe that medication is the way to go! __**I don't, I believe that eating souls is the way to go. **__You believe eating souls is the answer to everything don't you? __**Yeah!**_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Pretty good. I am glad that finally the readers will see that I am a smart, st__raight, and intellectual person. I am also pleased that someone is finally listening to me. _No problem and thank you for the interview. It was nice except for the part when Yammy left... _**Oh yeah, what did Szayel do while I was gone? **_Nothing, the sooner I forget about it the better I will feel, so too bad so sad, you're not going to find out. _**Fine I'll just go ask Nel. **_Oh, crap.

Thoughts?


	5. Aaroniero

This is the half way point of the story! Thank you for reading this far.

Aaroniero Arruruerie

Interview Questions

_Aaroniero's Answers (He is posing as Shiba Kai__en for most of the interview.)_

_**Rukia's Comments**_

1. Why are you an espada?

_So that I can be able to defeat Aizen from the inside, I am still loyal with Soul Society. __**You stupid lying bastard! No you're not and stop trying to look like Kaien because we all know you're not, you two headed freak! **__Wow, Rukia you've certainly learned some new vocabulary and you're definitely not as polite as you used to be. __**That's right, now shut up and answer those damn questions so that we can finish our battle. **_Oh yes, I'm sorry for interrupting like that, but this was the only available time I could find to interview you, plus I think Rukia's input will add a whole new dimension to the interview.

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_Yes, __I have been able to retain my position even though so many new Espada's have been introduced. __**Aizen only kept you because he likes liars like you. **__You really think so? Why, I'm quite flattered. __**It wasn't a compliment, dumbass. **_

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Well, I was fighting Rukia so that was good because I want to see just how much she has grown over the years. Plus, I like the time we get to spend together before I gruesomely kill her. __**How sweet. Now I'm flattered. So much that I want to kill you right now. **_

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_I loved my wife very much, but after she died I have to say that Rukia started looking really attractive. __With her little body and big eyes, she is so cute isn't she? _Well, ya I guess so. _**I... what? How disgusting, I'm like a hundred years younger than you! You're such a pedophile!**_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_As you can see from above it is straight and I like girls. I'm not too picky, but I prefer that they are __feisty. More of a challenge that way. __**Is that what you see me as? A challenge that needs to be beaten? **__Why yes, that's the bulls eye. __**You're just so creepy, you know that right? **_

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_If I was forced to be gay? How unfortunate, but I guess I would see myself with that Kurosaki boy, he looks descent and he's nice and strong. __**Ichigo! You horrible, horrible monster! I would never let you have Ichigo, he's mine and plus I saw him first! **__Well, technically, Aizen saw him first, so if you follow that train of thought Aizen and Ichigo can be gay together. __**Uh... Get. The. Image. Out. Of. My. Mind.! **_

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_No, I am against him remember? __**Suuureee... **__Why won't you believe me! __**Because you hit me and told me to go kill my friends! **__Oh, right, my mistake. _

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_The Shinigami! __We are super powerful and our *cringle* love and determination will over power evil... __**What's up with the cringle? **__I just can't say this crap! Love and determination! What idiot came up with this stuff! __**For your information it was Tite Kubo... **__Then it is her I will kill! __**What! You can't! She created all of us and she could easily make you die of a heart attack right here, right now! **__Oh, I forgot. _

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_Well, I've read the Bleach manga online so I know that I will die by Rukia's hand right after this interview. But at least I get to see her little breasts when she is hanging down above me and bending down. __**Yes! You're going to die! Wait a second, what was that about my breasts! **_

10. Who is your best friend?

_Rukia Kuchiki! __**Bull shit. **__Honestly, where do you get all these words? __**Have you ever gone to high school on earth? That's where. **__How strange. All I learned in hollow high school was how to eat souls. __**Oh, yeah and that's not strange at all... **_

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_Since I'm going to die, it would be new life. __**Dream on, no one in their right mind would try to bring you back to life. **__That's just mean. _

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_That's a hard one... Rukia dearest, where would your vacation be? __**I'm just going to ignore the 'dearest' part but my dream vacation would be in Europe! **__Okay then, my vacation would be in Europe. __**Hey! You copy cat! **__Why do you think I asked you, now you're the stupid one. _

13. What are your hobbies?

_I eat hollows, that's my hobby. __**That's a twisted hobby. **__Yes, and your horrible drawing are a great hobby. __**Shut up! My art is not horrible!**_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_I would suck it into myself, that way I could trick people into thinking I am part cat. __**No idiot would believe you. **__You believed me, so you're an idiot. __**Shut up, stupid faker. **__Defensive aren't you?_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_I would wonder why my release form was out and then deactivate it. _No, I meant like if your body was fat, like Yammy but without the muscles. _Oh, how horrendous! I would be hideous! I don't know what I would do. But I would probably ask Aizen to help me. __**Yes, you would be hideous, but that's such a shock because you're definitely **_**not **_**hideous now. **__Gah, stop with the sarcasm! __**Never. Muwahaha. **_

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_F__unny story actually, one time I went on earth and ate a woman then I decided to look like her too. After that, I accidentally walked into a bar full of drunken men, and well, I almost got raped. __**How is that funny? That's horrible, but I have to say that you deserved it. **_

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_No, nothing. I've outgrown fear. __**That's because you're so old and stupid. **__It's called wisdom! __**Sure.**_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_The fact that Rukia doesn't believe me makes me sad!__ I look and talk like Kaien! __**It doesn't matter! You don't breathe like Kaien! He breathed out happily and elegantly, but you breathe out like a snotty bastard. **__No, Rukia, knowing how Kaien breathed is not creepy at all. _

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_...Aizen...naked...in...my bed?... I would run. __**Looks like someone is afraid of Aizen! **__I hear what he does to Gin in the throne room, I don't want to feel it. __**Oh, I thought someone had spilled water or something in there. The noise sounded like slopping water splashing noises. **__Yup, that's the noise. __**How disgusting. **_

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_I don't need to think about that one. I would run. __Nnoitra has quite the reputation for raping people, specifically men, and I am very proud of the fact that I haven't been raped yet. __**I'm so glad to be a woman right now. **_

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_I technically have a split personality but since I'm used to it I don't really see that as a mental problem. I just guess that when I was a human __I was a scitsophrenic. __**What's that? **__Someone that hears voices in their head and they can't get rid of them. __**Oh, yes that explains a lot. **_

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_I am already betraying Aizen, I'm loyal to Soul Society. __**Yeah right, why don't you prove it by cutting Aizen's head off and bringing it to me. **__Now who's the copy cat?_

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_Yes, those noises and moans do not lie. __**Again, that's disgusting. **__It's Aizen we're talking about here, he is the definition of disgusting. __***Shudder* I just remembered that at one point in my life I shook hands with him, why knows where those hands had been. **__That right there is the exact reason I wear gloves. _

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_No. __It's strange watery stuff that tastes like crap, plus Aizen makes it so, well, to be blunt, I don't trust what he puts in there. __**Hahaha, sucks to be you. **_

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Grimmjow, he thinks life is all about fighting, and really it's about cunning and intelligence. __**You're both wrong, life is about love and friendship! **__You must be Tite Kubo's favourite. __**I am :)**_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Without question, Nnoitra, raping men does not make him straight. __**I agree.**_

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_No, I don't want __kids; it's all too much trouble in my opinion. __**You just haven't found anyone that would even consider sleeping with you. **__No thanks to you, would you stop rejecting me! __**No, I don't sleep with test tubes. **_

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Black. __**Wow, you're even more emo than Ulquiorra. **__No, don't compare me to him; no one can defeat the emo-ness of Ulquiorra. No one. _

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_Ah, what an interesting question. I would give myself a six because I won't be perfect until I defeat all of those above me. Since I don't see that happening any time soon, I'm stuck a six for a while. __**I was expecting you to give yourself a ten, you self righteous bastard. **__Again with the colourful language eh Kuchiki-san?_

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are very stupid __creatures and all they are good for is food. __**I like humans, they are much nicer than hollows. **__That's only because you've only met the mean hollows. Some of us are very kind and compassionate. __**Yeah right.**_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_Just like humans, they are not very useful, but I think that insects are even worse than humans because you can't eat them. Well, sure you can roast them and stuff but that's just gross. __**Aww... Poor Mr. I-can't-eat-insects, I bet you did try to eat an insect at one point. **__Grimmjow talked me into it... _

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Yes, I would like to eat his soul so that I could sing like him and make all of the other Espada's kill themselves to stop hearing that wretched noise. __**Smart, but I thought you were on the Espada's side? **__I'm not! How many times do I have to tell you I'm Shiba Kaien! __**Many more times.**_

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_No, them stupid ninja's are all crap and they are all so horribly weak! I especially hate that Sakura chick that has no power what so ever. Even in the Shippuden all she can do it punch stuff and heal things. She's pathetic! Plus, the way she pines over Sasuke is just disgusting!__ Oh and not to mention, why the hell does she have pink hair? It screams 'bitch' and 'I dye my hair'. I hope she dies a sad and horrible death that involves Nnoitra and Aizen raping her. __**Wow, that was a pretty big rant, seems a little personal there too. **_I agree, that does seem personal. Looks like Aaroniero got rejected by someone like Sakura.

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_No! I'm dead! __**Haha and I'm alive! Looossseeeerrrrr! **__I would laugh so hard if you died all of a sudden. __**Shut up, you stupid zombie. **_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_Actually, yes, that way I would be alive again and I would be able to kill Sakura! Hahahahahahaahahahahhahahah I AM THE ALL POWERFUL AARONIERO ARRURUERIE! __**My ears... are bleeding... **_Mine too.

36. Do you drink?

_No, but I always wonder what that would be like. __**Me too, but I'm too young. **_

37. Do you smoke?

_Never, I don't even want to try. It smells disgusting and I've seen what it does to your teeth and health from watching Ulquiorra die slowly. __**Oh, so that's why his teeth were so yellow. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No, I have better things to do with my time and money. __**Same here, I would rather spend my money on cake and candy! **__I wonder why you are still so thin. __**Me too actually. **_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_No, just like above, I have better things to do and plus I think he has way more to repent than the rest of us Espada's. Being gay is a sin. __**I don't think all the gays of the world care. **__Yeah, I think so too. _

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Eat __its soul. __**That's your answer to everything, eat its soul. **__Yes, it works every time. _

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_I... uhh... __**Ha, you can't eat him because Aizen needs him, so what are you going to do now! **__Well, like any other reasonable person I would give him the finger and then go have a shower. __**Wow, I didn't know you were a reasonable person. **__Well, I am so HA. _

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be one huge, awesome, super epic tower with pictures of Rukia all over the walls. __**I would burn your house down before dancing around it in circles and screaming 'The wicked witch is dead!' **__How mean. _

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No, like I said on question number 27, Rukia keeps rejecting me so I can't. __**And like I said on that question, I do not sleep with test tubes. **__You're so racist. _

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_No, I just like to sit in my room and __eat all the souls I capture slowly. __**Good to know. **__Well, yes of course, that's why I'm taking this interview, in order to let people know what I'm truly like. __**A creepy pedophile that is insane and way whacked up in the head. **__Again, you're so mean. _

45. What is your lucky number?

_1000! __**Why? **__I don't know, it's just always been my lucky number. __**Interesting. **_Yes, it is, you're the first Espada not to choose his own number to be their favourite.

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be SakuraisabitchandIkilledher__, Siabaikh for short. Isn't it poetic? __**No, it's just strange and you would have a very hard time explaining it every time when you fought. **__Shut up, I know you're just jealous. __**Yup, totally. **__Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me!_

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_Yes, then I could corner them and eat all of their souls. __**I guess that explains why you don't have that many fans. **__Yeah, probably. _

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_Well, I'll have to see and find out when Rukia and I... do it. __**No, you'll find out when you get raped by Nnoitra. **__Oh, that's not an accurate way of knowing because from I hear from Szayel the one being raped is on the side, Nnoitra is on top, and the Gin plushie is on the bottom. __**That's so strange, why the hell would Nnoitra like Gin? **__It must be the fact that they are both tall and they both have painfully creepy smiles. _

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, all of my power comes from all of the souls I eat and that will never change unless the soul I ate had some medication. I__n which case, yes I would be taking medication to enhance my power but I see that as unlikely and I wouldn't want that to happen. Pills don't go too well with me. __**I should totally sneak a ton of pills into your water. **_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Not happy, I'm off to go die now. __**Aww, don't be so sad, at least you die unraped. **__Yeah, that's great. Thanks for the reassurance Kuchiki-san I feel soooo much better. __**Oh, now who's the sarcastic one? **_Well, thank you for letting me interview you, and good luck with your mission to kill Sakura. _Thank you, and good luck with your interview with Stark... Might I suggest a club to hit him on the head every time he falls asleep? _No thank you, I got a taser from some poor cop I beat up to get it. _Nice... __**You beat up a cop? How illegal! **_That's one of the reasons I'm up here... hiding from the cops...

Reviews? Oh, and the next update will be in a couple of days! You can always just check on my profile to see the Update Schedule.


	6. Stark

This is a hard one because, well, for starters it took forever to ask Stark all the questions since he keep falling asleep and eventually I realized that Orihime was not the right person to invite for the comments. So guess who came to comment instead? Well, he broke my laptop and nearly killed me so that's a hint...

Stark

Interview Questions

_Stark's Answers_

_**Orihime's Comments**_

1. Why are you an espada?

_I get more free time that way... and I only have to report to Aizen that way. __**What do you do with all that free time Stark-san? **__... _*ZAP* _Gah! I sleep! I was showing her a visual representation! _Sure you were...

2. Are you happy with your rank? Why?

_Yes. That means the only Espada that is stronger than me is Yammy, so__ I don't have to be looked down by anyone. __**Aww Stark-san you were being looked down by someone before? How tragic, tell me all about it. **_Hey, no, Orihime you are here to comment, not ask questions and I'm the interviewer not you. _**Fine... **_

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_I don't want to fight anyone, I want to sleep. __**How noble of you, you're the first espada I've met that doesn't like to fight. **_You sure that's true? The first espada you met was Ulquiorra and he isn't fond of fighting. _**So? Right now all that matters is Stark, not Ulquiorra. **_..._Zzzzzzz_... Looks like it's time to zap him again. _**No! Don't you dare touch Stark-san with that dirty taser! **_Oh really? Then why don't I zap you instead! _**Ahh nooo Ulquiorra help me! **_***Smash* Orihime, what is it, oh and I broke the door. **Why does everyone keep doing that? _**The interviewer is trying to zap me with a taser and I... I... didn't even do anything... why does no one like me...? **_Oh shut up, it's only been three questions that you've commented on but I'm already sick of you, get out of my sight and now I need to get someone else to comment on Stark's interview. ***Ulquiorra** and _**Orihime**_ leave* Well, now that no one is stopping me... *ZAP* _Ahhhh stop that! Let me sleep! __***Aizen Enters* What's all the commotion? **__I keep getting zapped by a taser! _Yeah, that and Orihime is not a good commenter so I have no one to comment on Starks interview. _**I could do it. **_Okay, but try not to touch anything with your hands... from previous interviews I have learned exactly where they go. _**Just continue the interview before I kill you. **_Yes, sir!

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_Sure, I have no enemies right now so I would like to think that everyone is my friend. __**Don't you like Orihime? **__No, she's actually quite a bitch. __**Then why did you invite her to be your commenter? **__I wanted the public to know what I knew. __**Oh, yes, that explains a lot. **_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Straight, no offence Aizen-sama. __**Why would that offend me? **__Well, uhh...___*Making silencing noises at Stark behind Aizen's back* _Never mind._

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_Ulquiorra, he's quiet and I'm sure he would let me sleep. __**Trust me; he's not as quiet in the bedroom as he is outside of it. **__O.o _O.o _**Why are you two looking at me like that?**_

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_Yes of course. _Stark, just because Aizen is in the room doesn't mean you have to be bias in what you say. _**Although, if he says something bad I have no promises that I won't kill the both of you. **_*Whispering 'Make him look good or we're all dead.'*

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_We will. __**That's what I like to hear, espada that are confident in their power. **_It's either confidence like you say, or deathly fear. _**What do you mean by that? **_Nothing! It just slipped out, I swear! _Smooth._

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_I'm __not; Aizen-sama will protect me. __**See they trust me. **__*Mouthing 'no' in background* _

10. Who is your best friend?

_My sword release, she has always been there for me. __**How sweet, but one day she will betray you and your soul will be mine! **__Um... should I just forget you said that? __**Yes. **_

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_World peace, so then I can sleep all the time because there will no need to fight. __**What a foolish wish and here I thought you were one of my smarter Espada. **__Forgive me for not making my intentions clear. __**You are forgiven. **_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_Anywhere because all I would do is sleep. __**How lazy of you, you should find something better to do with your time. **__Right away, Aizen-sama. __**Oh please, just call me Sosuke. **__As you wish. *_Chuckling* _**What are you chuckling at? **_My friend told me what 'Sosuke' meant in her language. _What does it mean? __**Yes, I would like to know. *Glaring* **_Umm... it means all mighty god... _**How wonderful. **_*Mouthing 'It means pacifier' to Stark* *_Mouthing 'one of those things babies suck on?'* _*Nods*

13. What are your hobbies?

_Sleeping and that is all. __**Like I said above, you need to find something better to do. You could choose a human on earth and then take many pictures of them, Ulquiorra said it was fun. **_It's called stalking and it's illegal. _**All the better, Stark, stalking is now your new hobby. **__Good?_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_Walk past it, the kitten has nothing to do with me. __**Fine answer, but an even better answer would have been to kill the kitten and give it to me as a sacrifice. **_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_I don't wake up in the morning, so I don't see how that's possible. __I wake up in late afternoon and if I woke up to be fat I would just go back to sleep. __**Interviewer, that is an irrational question. There is no way he would wake up to be like that. **_My apologizes... I will try to make the questions more realistic from now on.

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_I woke up and left my room, only to later find out I forgot to put on clothes other than underwear. _Haha, that is embarrassing. _**That's just stupid. How on earth could you forget to put pants on? **_

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and __find someone else sleeping beside me naked. _Oh, then you'll love questions number 19 and 20... _**Why? What did you write, stupid woman? **_Hey! No insults and you will have to wait and see, you insufferable ass.

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_The idea of being alone again, I might like to sleep alone but I don't like having to live alone. __**You won't be alone, I am here for you. **_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_**Why the hell would I be naked in his bed! What are you suggesting, explain yourself of I **_**will**_**kill you. **_It's a question that readers wanted to see! Nothing personal I swear! _**Not good enough, you die now. **_I didn't want to say this... but back on earth I have a friend that will send out the fake super-gay version of your interview if I don't come back when I'm supposed to. If I'm dead you become gay! _**Alright, I will give you credit for being smarter then you look, Stark, answer the question. But if there is another question like this one, I kill you regardless of what your friend will do. **__If I woke up with Aizen naked in my bed... well, the answer is simple. I would scream bloody murder and run the hell out of there before he could do anything. _

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_My reaction would be the same as __above, but without the screaming because I wouldn't want to wake him. __**Ah yes, Nnoitra is the one that rapes men. **_

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, I just sleep a lot. __**None of my Espada's have mental problems, they are all perfect. **_Sure...

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_No, never, he is my lord and master. __**Yes, that's right. I made all of them memorize that line and I expect that all of them will say that for this question. Did they? **_Well... umm... there is interviewer/ interviewee confidentiality. You'll find out what I post of this.

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends? I mean, I never said that! The question I meant to ask was: Do you think Aizen and Gin are a good team?

_Yes, they are a great team and they always get what they need to do done. __**Yes, we do everything together and it always works. **_*Chuckling* _**What are you chuckling about now? **_Nothing...

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_I don't love it, but it has a very good aftertaste so I don't mind drinking it. __**I personally love tea, it's very relaxing. **_

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Grimmjow is the stupidest because he keeps disobeying Aizen__ I mean Sosuke... *chuckle* __**Why the hell do you keep chuckling! **_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Nnoitra, he likes to rape men, isn't that reason enough? __**I still don't understand why I only found out about this so recently... **_No one likes you, that's why... _***zanpacto being drawn* What was that? **_Erm... nothing... please put that way... _**Don't worry, I won't hurt you... *Stab* **_AHH! You bastard! That was my laptop! Do you know how much that cost!

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_Actually, one day I would like some children of my own. __I guess two would be enough... I want to see what it would be like to be a father. __**Trust me, it's nothing special. **_You're a father! _**Well, yes, technically I am the father of all the Espada's. **_Oh...

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Brown, like Sosuke's eyes...__**How wonderful... **_It's also the colour of crap, see any resemblance? _***Draws zanpacto again* **_Ah no, stay away! I have my all mighty broken laptop to protect myself!

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_A ten, Sosuke made me perfect so I have nothing wrong with me. __**See, they are my perfect flawless army. **_

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are sweet and caring, they always try to make each other happy and... __***Glaring* **__They are horrible, evil monsters that all need to be killed. _Oh, yeah, I totally believe you.

31. How do you feel about insects?

_A spider crawled into my mouth when I was asleep... so I don't like them. __**Did you eat the spider? **__Unfortunately, I choked on it and yes. _

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_No, he is completely gay. __**Really? Then why did you say you liked him when I asked you before? **__Um... I have a split personality? _

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_Ohh! I remember watching it all the time when I used to not believe in sleeping. It's a great show. __I especially like the main character, Uzumaki Naruto; he always saves everyone from evil. I hope he is able to save his friend Sasuke. __**You like the idea of a hero saving someone from evil? **__Umm... no, just like above, I have a split personality! _

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_Yes, I believe that she will do the right thing when it comes to the manga. __**She better make us win, or she is soooo dead. **_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_No, I would never leave Aizen-sama. __**See, he's loyal. **__*Mouthing 'no, I would leave in a heart beat.'* _

36. Do you drink?

_No, I don't have time for that. __**Good, I won't have to worry about finding you drunk on the job. **_

37. Do you smoke?

_No, I see what it did to Ulquiorra... __**Ah, yes, Ulquiorra loves to smoke, how unfortunate. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No, I'm saving all my money to bu__y more pillows to put in my room. __**What money? I don't pay you. **__Youtube pays me to post videos of me sleeping online. _Lucky!

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_I don't sin, I sleep, so no. __**That's actually a good idea... I should make everyone repent to me! **_I hope all the Espada's will forgive me after this...

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Keep sleeping. Eventually it would dry__ up and then fall off my head, at which point I would go take a shower. __**Wait a second; we don't have birds in Hueco Mundo. **_You don't? Oh... my mistake. I thought that those big winged bald things were birds. _**No, those are worms. **_Good to know...

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_Go take a shower __ASAP; I had the misfortune of smelling Wonderweis's poop when Tosen was carrying a bag of it to the garbage, that stuff is horrible. __**Ah, yes, I too smelled that stuff... worst smell in the world. **_

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be a giant pillow with a tunnel that lead inside to a soft room filled with pillows_. _**Nice... **_Where would the bathroom be...?

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_Like I said some time ago, I want children so yes I do see myself getting married. I don't know to who, but I hope t__o find my soul mate one day... __**You won't she will betray you for me. **_Why would any woman do that? _**Because I'm so hot and I am a god. **_Okay... sure...

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I __don't really care but I have to say that I like the rain because it makes me really sleepy. __**I hate the rain; it means something bad is going to happen. But wait, it never rains here. **__It did before you came... _Ahahaha.

45. What is your lucky number?

_1... my Espada number is my lucky number. __**It's a nice number, but my favourite is better. It is the num- **_Hey! No, you will say your number when you get interviewed.

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_It would be the Sleeper. __**How original. **__Thank you. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No, they wouldn't let me sleep and I heard about what happened to Nnoitra... so no, never. __**Good choice, those fans were insane and mentally unstable. **_

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_Neither, I don't have time for sex, and I respect women so... definitely neither. __**I'm the pimp, I have lots of whores. **_Too much information...

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, I get all my power from sleeping. __**Medication is temporary; I encourage my Espada's not to use medication unless it's extremely important. **_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_So tired that I need to go sleep now. _Well, then sorry about that, but you're done and thank you for letting me interview you. Oh and Aizen, I look forward to interviewing you in the next chapter... This time I will not bring my laptop! _**You better not make me sound gay... or your broken laptop will be the least of your worries. **_Yeah, yeah just go you stupid bastard.

Reviews?


	7. Aizen

Haha, this interview is going to be a lot of fun, unless Aizen kills me for asking some of the questions. Oh well, we'll just have to wait and see. This time, I am not bringing my laptop with me, since the bastard broke it in the last chapter... Now I'm borrowing Szayel's and he had it encased in titanium just in case... I wish I had myself encased in titanium as well...

Sosuke Aizen

Interview Questions

_Aizen's Answers_

_**Gin's comments**_

1. Why are you in Hueco Mundo?

_In order to create my army of Espada's to use to defeat Soul Society. __**More like to run away from the Shinigami because they were so gay. **__Well, yes, that too. _

2. Are you happy here? Why or why not?

_Yes, here I may be surrounded by idiots but __at least they listen to me... most of the time. _You do know this will all be posted in the main Espada meeting room for everyone to see. _I do, but I thought you wanted me to be honest in the interview. _Yes I did, my apologies. _You are forgiven. __**Psshh no you're not, he is incapable of forgiving people. **_

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Kurosaki Ichigo, he is the only worthy person I can even think of fighting. Everyone else is too weak for a sustainable battle to take place. __**Plus, he thinks young men are smexy. **__Gin! Silence yourself this instant. _No, it's okay Gin, keep talking... why does Aizen think young men are smexy? _**Because of their lean forms and their awesome looking muscles. **__That's it Gin, you are now forbidden to talk. _No you're not Gin; I have full power in this room, you, Aizen, have full power everywhere else. _Does this mean you are challenging my power? _No, you told me I could do anything I wanted in this room, and well, that makes it mine. _No, it's mine. _Mine! _MINE! __**Technically it's mine... see, that's my name on the door. **__Oh... _

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_No, I don't have time for that and liking someone more that someone else is bias, as a god I can't be bias. __**He likes all of his whores; they really are good at what they do. **__How do you know that? __**Well, they are whores right?**_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Straight. I have no intention of being anything else. _Really? But everyone else said that you and Gin are... you know... together... _What! Who said that! That is a complete lie and I demand to know who these people are so that I can kill them! __**Remember, she said all of this will be posted later on. **__Ah, yes, I am looking forward to that. _Note to self: Warn all the Espada's that said Aizen was gay to get the hell out of Hueco Mundo.

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_I would change it to neutral so I wouldn't be with anyone. __**You would give up sex? **__Yes, like I said above, I. Am. Not. Frigging. Gay._

7. Are you happy with the way you rule?

_Yes, of course, I rule with __reason so there is no need to be unhappy. _So, you would change nothing? _Well, I do wish I wasn't so soft-hearted. _Soft hearted? You threaten to kill your Espada's on a daily basis. _Yes, but I never actually carry out my threats. __**Wait, so you didn't kill Grimmjow's fraccsions a couple of days ago when Grimmjow tried to pee on your bed? **__That was a one time... and he really pissed me off!_

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_Without question, our plans are flawless so we will win. _What if it was just you and no other Espada's, would you still win? _Yes, I am perfect as well, so I would enjoy crushing all of those Shinigami. __**Where would I be at that time? **_You'd be dead. No offence...

9. Why do you hate Soul Society so much?

_It was actually quite traumatic... back when I was a captain... they all called me the... Gay Barney of Soul Society. _Hahahahahaha, seriously! That's so funny! It fits you perfectly Mr. Gay Barney. _**Yeah, Aizen it is funny, I don't understand why you never liked that nickname I gave you. **__You're the one that started it! __**Umm... no...? **__I hate you. _

10. Who is your best friend?

_Gin, he's been there as long as I can remember. __**Tosen's been there too. **__Yeah, but he's... how can I say it... _Black? Blind? _No, I don't care about that, what I meant to say was that he... drinks coffee. __**That's why you don't like Tosen? Wow, Aizen you are just full of surprises. **_Agreed.

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_I already have everything that I would possibly want but if I could choose something I would want to have a water pump. _A water pump? Of all things, why that? _It stopped raining when I came to Hueco Mundo so we now have to import all of our water. __**Yeah, and before we did that we had to squeeze the blood out of hollows and then purify it. **_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_Vacation? I am a god, I do not take vacations. Something could happen while I was gone and some idiot, namely Gin, would make the wrong decision. __**Aww come on Taicho, you just won't let that go now will you? **_What? What did Gin do? _I went to the human world to hunt hollows once and in my absence Gin told all of the Shinigami in my squad to stop doing their paperwork and leave it in my room. When I came back, I couldn't even walk into my room. __**It was funny when the papers fell on your head and gave you a table head for a week. **_

13. What are your hobbies?

_I read. __**He reads tonnes of romance novels, he reads about seven a day. **__Six, and so what if I read romance novels! _Oh it's nothing, just that the statistics of people who read romance novels are 90% women, 6% gay men, and 4% normal men. _I am in the normal category. __**Sure you are Taisho. **_

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_Kill it, skin it, and then make myself a mug out of it. _I wonder what will happen when Grimmjow reads this... _**I'm going to put a camera in the main espada meeting room... **_No, it's fine, you don't have to do that... I already did, technically it was Orihime but I' using it. _Orihime has a camera in the espada meeting room? __**Smarter than she looks, that girl... **_

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_I would go to Szayel so he would be able to get rid of the fat for me. I have to keep up good appearances in front of the world. __You're not the only journalist we let in here. _I'm not? Aww, I don't feel as special anymore.

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_It wasn't really embarrassing for me, but it must have been for Szayel__ and Grimmjow. One day, I walked into his laboratory and I found Grimmjow naked on his table, unconscious. Szayel was startled to see me so he accidentally ended up ripping one of Grimmjow's balls off... and it landed in the laundry... I quickly left after that, but later that day I heard Grimmjow screaming that he lost his ball. __**That is... interesting. **_Yes, I agree, I was wondering if Grimmjow was telling me the truth in his interview, and well, now I know.

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_I fear nothing. I am immortal and __invincible, I have nothing to fear. __**Except for lightning. **_Lightning? What about it? _Nothing!_

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Nothing saddens me, because I'm a heartless evil bastard! _That's definitely the truth. _** You should have seen him when he first came, he was way worse than this. **_

19. What would you do if you found Gin naked in your bed?

_Since this is a regular occurrence, I would shove him off the bed and tell him to stop doing that! Every morning it's like that, but he just can't seem to get it through his head that I. Am. Not. Frigging. Gay!__**But Taisho, you send out such gay vibes. **__Gin, it would do you well to shut up or I will kill the interviewer. _What! Why me, I have nothing to do with this! _I can't kill Gin, so you're the only one left. _Whoopee...

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Shove him on Gin, maybe then Gin will leave me alone. __**Oh gosh, please don't do that, I don't want to be raped by Nnoitra... **_Do it, do it! And record it on video!

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, like I said earlier, I am perfect so I have no problems. __**Hey, isn't there a name for that disease that makes you think you're a god? I just don't remember... **_Yeah... me either...

22. Would you ever betray the hollows to go back to Soul Society?

_No, I have long ago burned that bridge. __Plus, it's a little too late to turn back now, no one would trust me. __**Hinamori trusts you. **__Oh, yes... her... didn't I kill her? _No, the Shinigami brought her back to life. _How unfortunate... Maybe I should have stabbed her in the heart more than once... _Yes, that would have been a good idea. _**Plus you would be covered in blood and it would make your exit that much more dramatic. **_

23. Are you and Gin are more than friends?

_No, __we are colleagues, nothing more. __**All of my efforts... wasted! Why Aizen-taichooooo! **__One, I'm not gay. Two, I'm NOT gay. Three, I"M NOT GAY! _Hahaha, this is pretty funny. _**Shut up. **_

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_Yes, why else do you think I would make everyone drink it? _Cuz you're a heartless bastard that liked to make people suffer? _Yeah, but not in this case, I truly love tea! __**More than me? **__Yes, Gin, YES._

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Grimmjow, he keeps disobeying me and acting like a retard. Even Yammy isn't that stupid. __**Oh, you know what I realized? Maybe Ulquiorra is the stupidest because he barely talks and if he does all he says is 'trash'. **__Good theory, but Ulquiorra talks a lot when he's with me so I know he's smart. _How smart? _Harvard smart. _Wow.

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Nnoitra, __I don't think I need to explain. __**Yeah, that one kinda explains itself. **_

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many and if no, why?

_Yes, I would like three children because I need to spread my godly genes to someone. _Oh, that's why you're not gay. _Will you just drop that? _No. Never, it's my job to piss people off. _**Ohh, does that make me a journalist too? **_If you start writing down what you say, then yes.

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Brown, and it does not look like crap. __**It does. **_It does. _Why does everyone keep saying that? __**Cuz when you say brown the first thing a person thinks of is crap. **_Yeah, I agree.

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_I am a god, a simple ten does not work for me. I am a 100. _Umm... can you do the math...? 1-10 does not equal a hundred. _I have to power to change the laws of math, do not contradict me. _Alright... why do you give yourself a hundred? _Because I am a g- __**Don't say god Taisho, you've already said that too many times. **__I was going to say great person. __**Oh, never mind then. **__That's right, don't interrupt me. _

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are, in the words of Ulquiorra, trash. __They are weak, pathetic, hideous creatures. _But you look like a human. _How dare you compare me to those... animals! _Geez, you really are not very educated in the area of what journalists do. _**No, he's not; he barely reads the news or watches TV. **_Really? Then what does he do in his spare time? _**He just sits on his throne, looks in the mirror and mutters 'I'm so sexy,' Over and over again. **_Ahaha.

31. How do you feel about insects?

_They are even worse than __humans; they don't even listen to you. _Uh... that's because they cant, that's why they are called insects and not humans. _Don't contradict me. _Fine, Gin, contradict Aizen. _**I like insects Taisho... and they are better than humans! Some of them are completely fuzzy. **_Oh! Those awesome fuzzy caterpillars? _**No, tarantulas. **_Oh, never mind... bleh.

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_Yes, I love his songs, very, very much. But I have to say that I wish he was a hollow. __**Maybe you should go down to earth and kill him and then make him a hollow? **__Maybe I will. __**I'll take care of everything while you're gone. **__Never mind. _

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_It is all useless garbage, but I do like that Uchiha Madara character. He is strong, smart, and immortal, like me. The only thing I don't understand is why he had __wrinkles... if he's immortal he should stop aging right? Well, at least he has muscles. __**I like Uchiha Itachi; he's a cutie with funny looking lines on his face. **_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_Yes, so far in the Great Winter War we are winning, so I have no reason not to like her. __**I like her too, she killed Tosen!**_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_No, victory is so close here, I wouldn't dare. __**I would go for a quick visit to pinch Itachi's squishy little ass. **_How disturbing... I should get a messenger to warn him. Actually, on second thought... he's dead so I don't think I should even bother to. _**He's dead! NOOoooooooooooooo! **_It happened like... two hundred chapters ago... You should have been caught up...

36. Do you drink?

_No, I don't want to be drunk, confused or __disoriented. __**Yeah, with Nnoitra and me around that's a good idea. **_

37. Do you smoke?

_No, I must be perfect, and if I have lung can__cer I won't be perfect. __**Although it would be funny if near the end of he winter war you just suddenly died of cancer. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No, it's just plain silly. The odds are against you. __**He always looses, that's why. **_

39. Would you like to have a pet?

_Yes, I would like a giant fire-breathing dragon, but since those ore extinct I can't have one. __**Yey Taisho! Now I know what I can get you for Christmas! **_Where are you going to get a dragon? _**I know satan, he might give me one. **_

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Chase is down, kill it, and then nail it to my wall as a sign of power. _Oh yes because a rotting dead bird just screams 'power'. _Don't mock me. __**Too late for that Aizen. **_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_I would make Tosen clean the mess up, then go take a long, soapy bath. _Not a shower? _No, I need time to make my hair all nice and clean. It takes a long time to keep up such a good hair style. __**Three hours to be exact. **__You timed it? __**Yes, I got bored... **_

42. What would your dream house look like?

_Like this, but it would have a lake beside it... you humans judge everyone that tries to import water into a hole in the sky. _There are others that import water into holes? _Yes, there was this one tall man that looked like he was half shark. He was wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it and he had a huge scaly sword on his back. _Oh, that's Kisame! I was wondering where he got the water to have that giant shark tank in his room. _**A shark tank in his room? How exciting, Aizen Taisho can I have one too? **__No, Tosen might accidentally walk into it and die. __**So? **__Yeah you're right, you can get one. _

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No, I may want children but I have no intention of getting married. Too much commitment. _So, in other words, you have commitment issues? _No, I just don't want to stay with one woman. _That's commitment issues. _Shut up. __**No, keep talking; I like what you have to say. **_Thank you. _Say one more word and I will kill you. _Oh, but we're almost done the interview! Had I know you were going to kill me I wouldn't have even started this. _That was twenty-two words; I have to kill you twenty two times. __**Aww come on Taisho, don't be so mean. **__Fine, but I want this interview to be perfect. _It will be. _Wipe that grin off your face. _

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I enjoy the __sunshine; it makes me feel all warm inside. __**That's because you don't have a heart to do that for you. **__I do! I showed an ultrasound picture of it to you! __**Oh right, I remember that! **_

45. What is your lucky number?

_It is the greatest number in the existence of all numbers... it is the number... 0. In mathematical theory, the number zero stands for all the numbers in the world. __If you divide zero by zero you will get a sign that looks like glasses but without the little arms. _Really? I'm going to check... zero... divided... by zero... is... Result of function is undefined. What? _It means that it will be infinity. __**Wow, Taicho, you're so smart. **__Damn straight. _

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be Godzilla. __**Like that giant dinosaur monster thing in Japan? **__Yes, but better and way sexier. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No, unless they were hot women... I could use a couple more whores. _You man slut. _Don't go insulting me... my fans will get you! _Dream on... _**Be careful, a couple weeks ago Aizen got mad at a reporter and he sent his fans after him, the reporter is dead. **_Ouch. Maybe I should watch my tongue. _And it took you this long to figure that out? _

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_Pimp. I have so many whores that maybe 'pimp' no longer covers it. __**You have two whores, how is that a lot? **__Shut up Gin, you're embarrassing me again. _

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, it is fake. __**He takes Viagra, does that count? **_O.o... no...

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Like it's about time I killed you, give me the interview and I will edit it to make it that much better. _You can't, I have to transcribe it on the computer first and plus, if you kill me I won't be able to do Gin's interview. _**Aww Taisho, you can't kill her now! I want to get interviewed! **__Fine, but my interview must be perfect. _Don't worry, it will be nothing but the truth, the cold, naked, ugly truth. _What do you mean by that? _Nothing... Thank you for letting me interview you, and Gin your turn is next. _**Yessss. **_

Any thoughts?


	8. Gin

I am actually rather nervous about this interview. I in no way look forward to sitting all alone in the same room with Gin and Nnoitra, but oh well, it should be pretty entertaining. As you've understood from the Nnoitra interview... he is madly in love with Gin... so expect crazy one-sided fluff... *Crosses fingers for luck* hehe

Ichimaru Gin

Interview Questions

_Gin's Answers_

_**Nnoitra's Comments**_

1. Why are you in Hueco Mundo?

_I came with Aizen, isn't that reason enough? __**He's lying; he came so that he could be with me. **__No... if I want to be with someone it's Aizen, but he keeps rejecting me. __**So, make him jealous by being with me... **__That's actu- _Hey! This is off topic, get back to the questions!

2. Are you happy here? Why or why not?

_I'm not happy here... I miss my big boobed Rangiku... __but I get to be around Aizen so it kinda evens out. __**What? You like fat men too? **__No, Rangiku is a woman... __**You're bi...? **__Maybe..._

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Tosen, I want to be the lucky one that will be able to kill him and then dance around his body. __**Wait a second, isn't Tosen your comrade and partner? **__Yeah, but all the justice crap is just getting annoying. __**So it wasn't just me. **_

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_I already said that I like Rangiku, but she'll probably die in the winter war so I'm a bit sad. __**Will 'spooning' with me make you feel better? **__No, it will only make things ten times worse! I don't want to be heart broken _and_ raped. _

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_I actually don't know, I love Rangiku, but I also really like Aizen... does that mean I'm a lesbian? _Oh, wow Gin, I thought that you of all people would know that means you are bi. Wait a second, what's wrong with Nnoitra? _I think he just died of laughter. _*Poke* Yeah, he's out. Why can't an interview go normal? _So, who's gonna comment on my interview? _I don't know, who do you want to comment? _Orihime! _Oh... uh... fine. Now we need to get her. _**You called? **__How did ya get here so fast? __**I was standing outside the door listening in. **__Oh... _Can someone help me get this body out? _I will. _Thanks, I don't want the room to smell like dead body. _Oh yeah, I hate that smell. _

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_I would be straight with Rangiku! __**But that would mean you would be betraying Aizen-sama! **__Ooo, you're loyal to Aizen? __**Yes, he made me swear... or else... **__Oh else what? __**JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BIG BOOBS DOESNT MEAN IM A WHORE! **_Woah, that was sudden... _yeah. _

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_Ya, guess so, but __it doesn't really affect me because he lets me get away with anything. __**You're so lucky Gin-san, you can do anything you want but I'm... *sniffle*... stuck in my room. **_Clearly, that's a lie because you were standing outside my door. _**It's not your door, it's Aizen's! **_Uh-uh and I'm a big pink glob of hair gel that likes to falsely claim doors for itself.

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_Totally, we have Aizen on our side and he always plans things like this out perfectly. __**But... what about Kurosaki-kun? He will win won't he? **__Yeah, all by himself. That's going to happen... NOT._

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_I won't __die; I'm mostly just watching the battle so I'll be alive. __**What if something hits you and then you bleed to death and die? **_Hahahahaha, the chances of that happening are... *Googling chances*... one in 62,987,873,897,598,643. In words that's sixty two zillion, nine hundred eighty seven kajillion, eight hundred seventy three zillion, eight hundred ninety seven billion, five hundred ninety eight million, and six hundred forty three. Oh gosh, I'm exhausted.

10. Who is your best friend?

_Aizen! We do everything together! __**Everything? Do you two bathe together? **__Nah, I shower, not bathe, but he likes to bathe. _

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_A crystal ball that would be able to spy on Rangiku all the time so that I could watch her. __**Oh, you mean like Ulquiorra's eye? **__Yeah!_

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_On some private beach in the hottest place in the world! __**Why would it be private? **__So that me and Rangiku could go skinny dipping like Edward and Bella from Twilight. __**You read twilight? **__Yes! Why does everyone keep saying it's so bad! _Because it's gay, why else?

13. What are your hobbies?

_I practice smiling at myself in the mirror for two hours a __day; I guess that's a hobby. __**What an interesting hobby, I just sit in my room and wait for someone to walk in. **__My hobby is better. __**No, mine is! **__Mine! __**Mine! **__Mine! __**Mine! **_**SHUT UP! **Who was that? _I don't know. __**Neither do I. **_If it wasn't me, you, or you... then... **IT WAS ME, NNOITRA! **_Oh, he woke up. ___**I'm back to do my interview! Orihime, get the hell out of my seat. **_**But... but... I'm so comfortable here! **_**So! **_**I, Inoe Orihime, challenge you, Nnoitra something-last-name, to a cat fight! **_**You're on! **_**Meooooowwwwwww! **_**MOOOOOO I'M THE COW-CAT! **

An hour later...

I don't think they're coming back. _Yes, I agree, let's get back to the interview, but once again there is no one to comment on me! Why does everyone hate me! _Maybe we should try this again tomorrow... _No! I want to get this done! We will do this without a commenter! _Okay... for now... but I'm sure someone will show up.

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_I would go and give it to Aizen, he secretly likes cute things. _

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_I would go back to sleep and try to pretend it was all a dream. Eventually, I would get out of bed and go mope by Aizen's throne. _

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_This actually happened back in Soul Society... me and Toshiro were arguing and then I said 'Let's make a bet.' __He agreed and we ended up betting on trying to see who was the better kis- __**AAAAHHHHHHHHHH Where am I! **__Toshiro? Is that you! __**Gin! You traitor! What the hell are you doing here and wait... what's up with the microphone? **_This is an interview in Hueco Mundo, Gin was just telling me about something embarrassing you and him did back in Soul Society. _**What! You swore you would tell no one of it and I made sure by putting a curse on you that made me appear when you tried to talk about it so I can stop you! Gah, I'm out of breath... **_This is perfect! Toshiro, could you please be the one to comment on Gin's interview, no one else seems to be able to. _**Fine, but only if you promise to send me back when it's over and you can't reveal what me and Gin did to anyone else! **_Yes, of course, *remembers that fingers are still crossed* but could you tell me? I'll omit it from the final result. _**Fine... me and Gin decided to bet on who was the better kisser so... we kissed... that's it. **__No, no, shorty-kun, you tried taking my clothes off and I yours, then- __**that's it**__. _Good to know... thank you for telling me. _**Does she always have such an evil glint in her eye? **__Yeah, I've gotten used to it though. But that's not the end, after we were both only in out underwear, Aizen walked in. __**Yeah... and he asked if he could join us. I was never able to look at him the same since and I don't understand why you said yes. **__It was such a perfect opportunity, that's why. _Uh-oh... I got a nosebleed...

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_No, I have nothing to fear. __**Except those eye eating leeches. **__Shut up! I have enemies here too... _

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Um... I don't know... I'm always smiling so I guess nothing makes me sad. __**Yeah, in all those years I never saw you frown. **__Hehe. __**But I have to say you laugh very creepily. **_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Take him right then and there! __That would be the best day of my life! __**I would run, without question, I would run far... very, very far. **_

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Now this time it would be me that would run, to Aizen, he would be the only one who would be able to protect me. __**Wouldn't you run to me like that time you thought there was a fan boy with sex toys hiding in your room? **__That was just the one time, and you saw there was a strange shadow in the closet! __**It was your coat... **__A coat does not have sex toys! __**If it's your coat, then it does Gin, it does. **_

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, I am sane, contrary to popular belief. If you're looking for someone insane, ask Byakuya, he mumbles the word 'McDonalds' in his sleep and then makes really sexual noises. __**And you know this how? **__Aizen told me to spy on all of the captains, I took my job very seriously. _

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_Nah, I'm in too deep to even try that now. __I've learned that Aizen likes to stab things with his sword if he feels betrayed. _Oh yeah, like how he stabbed my laptop. _Yeah, like that. _

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_**YES! THEY ARE! Have you seen the way they smile at each other and then giggle! **__Umm... Aren't I supposed to answer the question? _It's okay, Toshiro can answer that one, please continue. _**They actually giggle and if I look close enough I can see that they are groping each other! **_Very, very interesting... I think I got another nose bleed coming on.

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_No, it tastes like watery crap... I like sake better... __it's much better. __**But you told me that you like diet coke! **__Yeah, then I took a big swig of sake, that should have been your pointer that it was a lie. _

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Yammy, he is always screaming at people and eating souls. It's pretty funny but stupid at the same time. __**Who's Yammy? **__Just a fat muscled dude. __**Oh, okay.**_

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Nnoitra. I'm not even going to b__other to explain, he rapes people. __**Wow, this place sounds horrible with the gay rapists and guys with muscles, this is a gay brothel isn't it? **__No! This is the grand Hueco Mundo! __**I don't think I ever want to come here again. **_Same here.

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many plus why and if no, why?

_Maybe if I end up with Rangiku__... but if I'm with Aizen I think you can see why I won't be able to have any kids. __**I hope you're stuck with Aizen; the world isn't ready for any creepy Gin children. **__Shorty-kun! How mean!_

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_Light purple, it's a nice relaxing colour. __**My colour is better! Mine both relaxes and attacks you at the same time. **__Erm... I didn't know ice was relaxing... __**Well it is, so deal with it!**_

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_A seven, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm doing the best I can. __**I think you deserve a zero. **_Nah, that one's reserved for Aizen. _**Right, how could I forget? Wait... Aizen is here? **__Yeah, he's in the throne room. So any second now... he could walk in and kill you. _No he can't! I temporarily own this room so you're safe don't worry. _**What if I need to use the bathroom? **_That's not my problem. _**Ah crap. **_

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are pretty cute and I wouldn't mind keeping one as a pet. __**A pet? You do know that you would need to feed it, clean it, and let it shit? **__Yes, but I can get Tosen to take care of it, he takes care of Wonderweis like a pet so... it makes sense. __**Only in your mind it does. **_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_I don't like them, they bite! __**Yes, but only if you touch them. **__Well then what's the point of them existing if you can't even touch them? __**I won't answer that; your small demented head won't be able to comprehend. **__That's mean Toshiro-kun. _

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_No, Aizen really likes him though... __**Who? Is this Justin guy another Espada? **__Hell no, if he was we would have all killed ourselves long ago. I might have even considered giving myself up to Soul Society to escape that dreadful high-pitched racket. __**A little bit of a rant there? **_

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_I LOVE ITACHIIIII He's so cute and evil and cute and smart and cute and sexy and cute, oh and did I mention he was cute? __**You are so gay. **__Why does everyone keep saying that! _Gin, you radiate gayness with that smile of yours, that's why. _Well then maybe I should stop smiling! __**Yes, you should. **__Nah, I'm just kidding, I won't be able to stop smiling because then my face will fall off. __**You're being figurative right?**_

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_Yes, she made me evil and creepy. __**That's a good thing? **__Yes, why would it be a bad thing? __**Never mind... **_

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_I would switch for a little bit so that I could kidnap Itachi and bring him here, he would be so wonderful to have as a room mate. _He would kill you in your sleep and then spit on your body. _He wouldn't! I would make him fall in love with me, so he would never hurt me! _He killed his old lover heartlessly, he would definitely kill you. _Shut up. _

36. Do you drink?

_YES! I love to drink! __**That's why your head is so small. **__Will you stop with the fact that my head is so small! __**No, it's just too funny to pass up. **_

37. Do you smoke?

_No, all of us here see Ulquiorra dying __slowly; we don't want that to be us. __**Oh, is Ulquiorra the really pale one with the hole in his neck? **__Yeah, that's him. _

38. Do you gamble?

_A bit, but Aizen always stops me before I get too far. __**He's probably jealous, I remember how he always lost at every bet and you always won. **__Ah, yes, good times, good times. _

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_No, I don't think Aizen would bother to listen to me if I did that. __**Really? I thought that he would force all of you to pray to him. **__Shh, shh, I don't want him to get any idea's if he reads this! __**Oh, then... Aizen should make everyone pray to him and read from the Aizen bible, also everyone should bow on the floor and kiss his feet when they see him. **__I hate you. _

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_Take a shower as soon as possible! That poop would hurt my very fragile hair! Not all of us are gifted with strong, thick hair like Aizen!__**Someone's a bit jealous. **_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_Eww... I would kick his ass for it. __That smell is just disgusting and I know that I would definitely never be able to forget it happened. __**It would be funny to watch though. **_I agree.

42. What would your dream house look like?

_It would be huge and it would have naked statues of Aizen all over the place. _That sounds a lot like Ulquiorra's dream house... _What! Ulquiorra likes Aizen too! I have so much competition! WHY! __**Because the world hates you and your gay ass. **__That was low Shorty-kun, very, very low. _

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_Like I said for the children question, I would __marry Rangiku, but if I was with Aizen I wouldn't be married because he told me that he didn't want a committed relationship with anyone. __**Who would have guessed that Aizen had commitment issues? **_I was surprised too.

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I like the clear, __crisp, night sky. That's when I feel ultra evil. __**Don't you feel ultra evil when you dream about ass raping Aizen? **__Well, yes that too... _Darn, that nosebleed started up again.

45. What is your lucky number?

_6666666666666, well actually I think that it's any number that has a six in it. __**Even if it's like 0.0000000000000006. **__That's a bit extreme but yes. _

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be Ginzilla, so that my name matched Aizen's new name. __**What was Aizen's new name? **__Godzilla. __**How original. **_

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_No, but if they were cosplaying as Aizen or Rangiku, then maybe. __**Remind me to tell Ichigo to walk into your room dressed as Aizen with a video camera. **_Sure thing, it would be pretty funny.

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_If I'm with Rangiku then I'm the pimp, but I imagine that if I was Aizen I would be the bitch. No one is Aizen's pimp... __**Except for his hair gel. **__Yes, that's his pimp. _

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, I don't, but uhh... does Marijuana count? _No... _Then no, I do not take any medication. __**Gin, you do drugs? **__Shh, it's a secret. _Not for long. _What? _Nothing...

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Pretty good, I'm glad this is finally over. But wait, what happened to Orihime and Nnoitra? _Good question, want to go see? _Sure, let's go. _

Ten minutes later...

_I wish I didn't see or hear that. _Me too. _**Me three, I had no idea that Orihime was that... 'quick'. **__Yeah, and Nnoitra was fast too... _I just don't understand why they were in such a strange position. _**Hmm... I've never actually thought that doing that in such a way was possible. **__I did. _Of course you did, you're the master of baking cakes in perverted positions. _That's right. _Well anyway, Toshiro and Gin, thank you for coming to my interview and I hope the both of you have a nice day. _I will. __**No problem, I'll be seeing you...? **_Yeah, you'll see me on the news fleeing from Aizen, there was a lot of nasty stuff said about him in other interviews. _**I'll be looking forward to reading it. **__We all will. _Actually... Toshiro... can you help me by getting all of those down in Soul Society to read the interviews? I believe that there might be a couple of useful hints for you to be able to defeat the Arrancars. _**Sure, I will do that and I didn't know you were siding with Soul Society. **_Looks can be deceiving... Bye bye. *_**Toshiro leaves* **__You're loyal to us right? _Of course... unless Aizen kills me, then I'm just a dead corpse.

Reviews?


	9. Tosen

This is the second to last chapter of this story! I am a bit sad, but I have to say I will be happy to see a colour _other_ than white. I mean seriously, this isn't a mental institute, but then again tell that to Aizen.

Kaname Tosen

Interview Questions

_Tosen's Answers_

_**Szayel's Comments**_

1. Why are you in Hueco Mundo?

_To bring justice to the world. __**Technically, all you're doing here is playing babysitter with Wonderweis. **__Don't contradict me, you unjust being. _

2. Are you happy here? Why or why not?

_Yes, there is more justice here than back in Soul Society. __**Really? When I read literature on the lives of those in Soul Society I found that there is a great legal system which is up kept wonderfully by the Captain Commander and other Captains. **__Words are only just that; words, but if you truly wanted to see what was going on in Soul Society you would have to see it with your own eyes. __**So, you're saying that you would need to see to understand. **__Correct. __**Then you saw nothing because you are blind. **__I- ugh, I already told you not to contradict me. __**I rest my case... **_

3. Who do you want to fight the most? Why?

_Fighting is a very useless pastime __that I do not enjoy so I can not answer that question. __**You can, but you should just alter it to 'If you had to fight someone, who would it be and why?' **__It is the interviewer's job to alter the questions not yours. __**I am clearly a more intelligent being than her, so I have full right to change the questions if I see fit. **_Note to self: Make Szayel's interview super gay.

4. Do you 'like' anyone?

_No, romantic relationships are just are useless as fighting __so I do not partake in them. Love clouds the way of Justice. __**On the contrary, Kurosaki Ichigo used his love for Rukia to fuel him and make his stronger so that he could save her in the Rescue Rukia arc. **_Ichigo loves Rukia? _**Yes, of course, you have to be blind like Tosen not to see it. **_

5. What is your sexual orientation?

_Straight, anything other than that is incorrect. __**Incorrect? It works and it can be done so it is correct. **__Can two gay men have children? No. You see my point now? __**Oh, you were meaning the original use of sexual intercourse. **__Yes._

6. If you _had_ to change it, with who do you see yourself?

_I would see myself killing anyone who would even try to approach me in that way. __**Very interesting, so you would kill if it meant you would remain 'just'. **__Yes, that is indeed correct. _

7. Are you happy with the way Aizen rules?

_Yes, his word is law and I accept that. __**What if his law was unjust? **__It will never be unjust, he is Aizen a god and thus he is incapable of being wrong. __**He may be a god, but until he opens the King's Gate he is just a simple Shinigami. **_

8. Do you think you will win the great winter war?

_We will, we have justice on our side but all the Shinigami have is will. __**Will has been proven to be stronger than justice. **__You are lying. __**I am a scientist, I do not lie, I just smudge figures but this figure was so irrefutable that I would not smudge it. **_

9. How do you think you are going to die?

_When justice is accomplished I will die. __**Are you saying you're immortal? **__No, justice will be soon! __**Dream on, even I know that's impossible. **_

10. Who is your best friend?

_He is back in Soul Society, there is no need to even talk about him. __**She asked, you should answer. **__No mere human will ever be able to force the answers out of me. _Aww, and here I thought you were the nice one.

11. If you could have anything, what would it be?

_Justice. __**Is that all you are capable of talking about? **__At the moment, yes. _

12. Where would your dream vacation be?

_Justice has no time for vacation, I can not take breaks. __**Then why are you here? **__I believe that by doing this interview I am bringing justice to my image. _

13. What are your hobbies?

_I have no time for hobbies, I just train to be stronger and do as Aizen tells me. __**Training can be a hobby too. **__Not for justice. _

14. What would you do if you found a stray kitten?

_Nothing I could do with it would lead to justice so I would just walk past it and leave it there for some other person to find it. _Wow, you're the second person to just leave the kitten there. _**It's because he can't see the kitten's large, cute eyes. **_Yeah, that must be it.

15. What would you do if one morning you woke up and you were fat?

_Go to Aizen. He would make the correct decision on what to do. Oh, and I would also stay away from __Nnoitra... I've heard about what he does. __**Good choices, I am glad to see you can rationalize. **_

16. What is the most embarrassing thing you've done?

_I walked in on Aizen, Gin and Toshiro in underwear. Toshiro looked terrified and the second I opened the door he ran out of there like __Wonderweis when he sees a hollow he wants to eat. __**Did you ever find out what they were going to do? **__No, it was just too creepy so I left as well. _

17. Are you afraid of anything? Why?

_No, I fear nothing because if justice __fears nothing, neither should I. __**You do know that justice is just a made-up standard humans have created so it can not have feelings and thus it can't 'fear nothing' because it is incapable of the gesture. **__Just shut up. ___

18. What makes you sad? Why?

_Like I said above, no__thing. __**And like I said above, that is impossible. **_

19. What would you do if you found Aizen naked in your bed?

_Run. __**So you fear the one that brings justice? **__No, not fear, but I am cautious of what is near my rear. __**Yeah, when it comes to Aizen, you always need to be cautious. **_

20. What would you do if you found Nnoitra naked in your bed?

_Kill __him; I am stronger so the feat would not be hard. __**Wouldn't Aizen be upset? **__No, he doesn't really like Nnoitra. __**So Aizen is bias? **__Guess so. _

21. Do you have any mental problems? Be honest!

_No, blindness is not a mental problem. __**In some people it is, but after examining Tosen's brain I see in his case it has nothing to do with mental issues. **__When did you examine by brain? __**Remember that time something knocked you out and you could never figure out what it was? That's when. **_

22. Would you ever betray Aizen?

_No, he has given me so much __justice; I would never dare betray him. __**How can he give you justice? It is an ideal, not an object.**__ It is something you will never know, foolish scientist. _

23. Do you think that Aizen and Gin are more than friends?

_Yes, I think that Aizen isn't interested in Gin, but Gin is in love with Aizen. _Really? Then how do you explain all the moans and sloppy noises coming from the throne room? _Oh, that... it is Aizen's favourite soundtrack, Sex in the Water 2. _Disturbing, but finally, the mystery of the sloppy noises and moans is solved!

24. Tell me the truth, do you like tea?

_No, drinking tea leisurely does not bring justice, although it does __nourish your brain. __**There, someone appreciates my statistics. **_Yeah one person, big whoop.

25. Who do you think is the stupidest Espada? Why?

_Grimmjow, he is hindering justice and promoting __injustice. I hate him. __**That's why you cut his arm off? **__Yes, I found that it was reason enough. _

26. Who do you think is the gayest Espada? Why?

_Nnoitra, those stories have to come from somewhere and there has to be __at least a little bit of truth to them. __**There is truth! You think I would lie about being raped! **__I don't know your intentions, so yes. _

27. Do you want kids? If yes, how many, and if no, why?

_No, I already count Wonderweis to be my mentally challenged son, so I don't need any more children. __**Everything works out great in adoption doesn't it? **__Yes I agree, I don't understand what all those women complain about. _Note to self: Make Tosen's interview super gay.

28. *Hides* What is your favourite colour?

_White. _So it was your idea to make every single frigging object in Hueco Mundo white! _Yes... why?_ I hate you! I've been feeling like I was in a mental institute for a week because of you! _Like I care about your designing tastes. _You're blind; you shouldn't be able to design anything! _**Hey, hey, stop being so mean to Tosen. **_Fine, just go on to the next question.

29. On a scale of 1-10 what do you give you overall? Why?

_I would give myself an eight, because I have not yet brought justice to the world. __**Why don't you give people some of that materialized justice that Aizen gave you? **__I don't like your sarcasm, Szayel. _

30. What do you think about humans?

_They are weak sinful creatures. __**I like the hot ones. **_

31. How do you feel about insects?

_Well, Wonderweis likes them, so I guess they are okay. Better than humans. __**I disagree, humans can be fooled but insects comprehend nothing. **__How many times do I have to tell you to stop contradicting me? __**Many more, I am a scientists and I will only stop contradicting you when you give me some proof on why I shouldn't. **_

32. Do you like Justin Beiber?

_No, but Aizen likes him. Justin's songs are on Aizen's second favourite soundtrack. __**Why does he like Justin? **__I don't know, I think he has a thing for little boys. _

33. What do you think about the anime 'Naruto'?

_I like Pein. His idea of world peace is very correct and I applaud it a hundred percent. __When you teach people what true pain is, peace will come. __**Interesting idea, maybe Aizen should try it some time. **__Yes, I agree. _

34. Do you like the author of Bleach?

_Only if she makes justice come in the end. _And if she doesn't? _I will kill her. __**But we're dead remember? **__Don't remind me. _

35. Would you switch anime's? Why?

_Yes, I would like to see how much justice there is in Konoha. __**I would just like to experiment on them ninjas. **_

36. Do you drink?

_No, I don't have time for that. My 'vision' would be obscured by __liquor if I drank. __**Good point, but a couple of drinks wouldn't hurt once in a while **_

37. Do you smoke?

_No, never. __**He saw Ulquiorra without any makeup on once and ever since cigarettes are taboo. **_

38. Do you gamble?

_No, justice does not require __gambling, it requires skill and precision. __**It also requires intelligence. **_

39. Do you repent to Aizen, your God, if you do something bad?

_Yes, I need to be sinless in order to bring justice to the world. __**Not necessarily, Aizen is full of sin and yet he brings justice to the world. **__He's a god, that's why. _

40. What would you do if a bird pooped on your head?

_I would wonder why this happened and then go take a shower. __**Wonderweis would probably kill the bird for you. **_

41. What would you do if Wonderweis pooped on your head?

_What a bother, I have already taught__ him not to take off his diaper but if he did I would scold him and then shower, for a very, very long time. His poop is like toxic waste. __**I actually found some uranium in there. **__I'm not surprised. _

42. What would your dream house look like?

_My house would __be perfect; it would be a large white dome. That way I wouldn't bump on a sharp corner. __**You walked into a corner once? **__Yes, I was distracted and in a hurry. _

43. Do you ever see yourself getting married? Why?

_No.__ I have no time for that. __**He has to go materialize justice. **__Stop with the sarcasm. _

44. Do you like snow? Rain? Sun?

_I care for none of it, but I do like the sun a bit more than the other weather types. __**It's because he doesn't like it when strange liquid falls out of the sky and onto his face. **_

45. What is your lucky number?

_I don't have one, luck is useless. _You just don't believe in luck because you're so _un_lucky. _Oh and you are? _No... _My point exactly. __**Wait a second, both of you are forgetting that luck exists but it is often mistaken for probability. **__So? __**I don't know, I just like sounding smart. **_We figured.

46. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

_My new name would be Justicezilla, __because it would be like Gin and Aizen's names. __**What are their new names? **__Godzilla and Ginzilla. _Why do all of your names end with 'zilla'? _I never actually knew, but I figured it was because Aizen loves that movie. _

47. Would you ever let your fan girls/ boys into your room?

_I have fans? _Not very many, but they're there. _Oh, wow, this is so unexpected. I don't know what to say except... spring forth my fans and spread the power of justice! _You sound like Rock Lee from Naruto.

48. Are you a pimp or a bitch?

_I am the pimp of injustice. __**I had no idea that injustice was materialized as well. Tosen, you are a true genius. NOT! Get it through the head that injustice and justice are NOT material! **_Someone's going on a little rampage there. _**Shut up. **_

49. Do you take any medication to enhance your power?

_No, it is all fake and temporary. __**I strongly disagree; medication can work forever... well until you die from overdose that is... **_

50. How do you feel after the interview?

_Very well, I have found out that I, Kaname Tosen, have fans! __**I'm content as well, there is only one day left until all the interviews are posted. **_Yes, tomorrow I will post the interviews in the main Espada meeting room for everyone to see. Also, I will be sending a copy to the Shinigami to read. _What! You traitor! _I never actually said I was loyal to Hueco Mundo. I had my fingers crossed...

Any thoughts?


	10. Results!

So, all the interviews are over and I have posted all the interviews in the main espada meeting room. I also put a camera, courtesy of Orihime, and now I get to sit back, relax and watch as the chaos unfolds. Well, until the Espada's decide to blame all their problems on me and try to kill me, in which case I will run into the hollow infested desert. I would rather take my chances out there than in here...

Results:

_Aizen_: My Espada's, the interviews have now been posted, but I have decided to make things a bit more organized. We will read one interview at a time so that everyone gets the information they need.

_Gin_: 'Kay Taisho, which one's first?

_Aizen_: Grimmjow's.

Twenty minute later...

_Nnoitra_: Grimmjow, you're straight! You lied to me!

_Grimmjow_: Well... uhh... I... You were pressuring me!

_Aizen_: Grimmjow, what did you mean when you said you hope that I will 'drop dead any second now'?

_Grimmjow_: What do you think it means? I want you dead!

_Nnoitra_: Aizen, stop interrupting, and Grimmjow you said that you couldn't poop for a week? I don't see how that's true because my ***** barely fit so I made pooping easier for you, not harder!

_Grimmjow_: It was emotional trauma! Emo-tio-nal!

_Aizen_: Nnoitra, you stop interrupting me, and Grimmjow how dare you say you would betray me?

_Grimmjow_: I meant what I said, you betrayed Soul Society without a care so why can't I betray you?

_Aizen_: You have to be smart to plot a betrayal and clearly you are not!

_Nnoitra_: Aizen! Shut up I was talking first! If condoms are not transparent little hats for midgets then what are they!

_Aizen_: You don't know that? Then you really are the stupidest! And Grimmjow, you run an animal shelter and you never told any one? How selfish of you, what if I wanted a pet?

_Grimmjow_: Then I wouldn't give you one! You would probably just kill it or make it suffer!

_Gin_: Hey everyone! Calm down, calm down! Let's read Ulquiorra's interview and see what little emo is truly like!

~Silence~

_Aizen_: Hurry up and read!

Twenty minutes later...

_Orihime_: Ulquiorra... you love me? But wait, what did you mean when you have none of 'those' organs?

_Ulquiorra_: I don't love you. And it means that I don't have a *****.

_Aizen_: Creepy, but Ulquiorra, you want me to give you a hug?

_Ulquiorra_: It was a slip of the tongue, nothing more!

_Aizen_: Oh and here I was actually going to give you a hug.

_Ulquiorra_: Alright! Fine, I do want a hug! I feel so unloved!

_Aizen:_ I lied, I will never hug anyone.

_Gin_: Aww Taisho you're so mean. Oh and you know satan too? We should all get together sometime.

_Ulquiorra_: Yes, we should. But Nnoitra, if you step any closer to me I will feel violated.

_Nnoitra_: Damn right you should feel violated, what did you mean when you said you would run if I was naked in your bed?

_Ulquiorra_: Don't ask stupid questions, I heard Grimmjow complaining for weeks after his encounter and I didn't want that to happen to me.

_Orihime_: Ulquiorra! You pervert! I can't believe you have pictures of me in the shower!

_Ulquiorra_: Well I do and I had no idea you had the word 'Aizen' scarred on your back.

_Aizen_: That is none of your business Ulquiorra and when you walked in on me and Gin we weren't having sex! We were just whispering very closely together.

_Grimmjow_: Yeah, with your hands on each other's chests.

_Gin_: I wanted to see if Aizen had a nipple.

_Grimmjow_: Well, does he?

_Gin_: Yeah, a very small one.

_Yammy_: Ulquiorra! I. Am Not. Stupid!

_Aizen_: Yammy, you are stupid now stop yelling and Ulquiorra, you compared me to Tobi? The insane bipolar retard!

_Ulquiorra_: Yes, he seemed just like you because I think your age is almost the same.

_Aizen_: Aww, Ulquiorra how sweet, but I'm not that young. Oh and I almost forgot, you would have what in your dream house?

_Ulquiorra_: Naked statues of you.

_Aizen_: I see, Ulquiorra, I now forbid you from being anywhere within 50 feet of me.

_Ulquiorra_: What? No, Aizen-sama, why!

_Aizen_: I already have Gin to deal with, I don't need more trouble.

_Gin_: Ooo the next one is Nnoitra's interview!

Twenty minutes later...

_Gin_: Nnoitra... you know I don't feel that way about you right?

_Nnoitra_: But Gin why! We are perfect for each other, we're both tall, smile creepily, and we're awesome!

_Grimmjow_: Your obsession with Gin is creepy but tell me... WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT KITTEN!

_Nnoitra_: People like kittens; I was going to use it to attract people that I could then rape.

_Gin_: That's just disgusting, but you were lying on my bed naked? And Aizen came in? Why did no one tell me!

_Aizen_: I didn't tell you because I knew you would be jealous and Nnoitra, you would dare betray me if you could have Gin?

_Nnoitra_: Yes! I would do anything for Gin!

_Yammy_: Even call me stupid!

_Nnoitra_: I... don't see what that has to do with anything, but yes.

_Szayel_: Yammy, stop yelling and Nnoitra, I told you that the thermometer thing was for an experiment, I was not being gay!

_Nnoitra_: It doesn't matter, it looked gay! Wait, I wasn't able to finish reading the interview.

Five minutes later...

_Nnoitra_: Aizen and Gin are getting married! *Faints*

_Gin_: Aizen, you finally want to marry me, this is a dream come true!

_Aizen_: No Gin, we are not getting married and I can't believe that you guys watch Family Guy on _my _TV! Oh, and someone should make sure Nnoitra isn't dead.

_Szayel_: No he's fine. He'll be conscious again in a few minutes.

_Gin_: We might as well begin reading Szayel's interview.

Twenty minutes later...

_Aizen_: Szayel, you want to experiment on my brain?

_Szayel_: Yes, what scientist wouldn't?

_Tosen_: Wait... Szayel, if you were gay you would be with me?

_Szayel_: IF, IF, but I'm not gay so you can forget it.

_Tosen_: I'm not ga-

_Nnoitra_: -You would experiment on me while I'm naked?

_Szayel_: Yes, why bother clothe you if I'm doing a full body examination?

_Nnoitra_: Are you sure you're not gay?

_Szayel_: Yes! Why does everyone keep calling me gay!

_Gin_: It's because your favourite colour is pink and Nnoitra... you have a plushie of me... that you rape?

_Nnoitra_: Yes, you want to see it?

_Gin_: No... I would rather read Aaroniero's Interview...

Twenty minutes later...

_Aizen_: Aaroniero, I understand your logic, but I don't want Ichigo because I. Am. Not. Gay! Honestly, why does everyone keep thinking that me and Gin are having sex in the throne room?

_Aaroniero_: The noises don't lie Aizen... they don't lie...

_Grimmjow_: Hey! I'm not the stupidest espada! Yammy is!

_Yammy_: Clearly you are now shut up, I think Mr. Smokey-pants wants to say something.

_Ulquiorra_: Why do you all notice that I smoke? It's not that big of a deal...

_Aaroniero_: No other espada smokes, that's why and it is a big deal, you're going to need new lungs!

_Grimmjow_: Everyone shut the hell up, I want to read Stark's interview!

Twenty minutes later...

_Orihime_: Do you see how I was treated? Everyone is so mean to me!

_Aizen_: Shut up you stupid bitch, people have more important things to do but whine. By saying that Ulquiorra was not quiet in the bedroom I didn't mean what you all thought... perverts. Oh and Stark... why did you mouth 'no' when I said that I was going to protect you?

_Stark_: It... was a joke?

_Aizen_: A joke? I suppose the fact that my name means 'pacifier' is also a joke!

_Stark_: No, that was all real Sosuke.

_Grimmjow_: Yammy is dumber than me!

_Yammy_: No I'm not!

_Gin_: Will you two idiots cut it out? Other people want to say things too, Stark, you have a split personality?

_Stark_: Yes, that is why some of the answers were strange.

_Aizen_: So one of your 'sides' wants to 'leave in a heartbeat'?

_Stark_: Yes... but I want to stay!

_Aizen_: I'm going to keep my eyes on you... but now let's read my perfectly perfect interview.

Twenty shocking not perfectly perfect minutes later...

_Szayel_: Aizen! We Espada's are not idiots!

_Aizen_: I know, I was talking about Grimmjow not all of you.

_Ulquiorra_: Yes, Grimmjow is very stupid... he tried to pee on Aizen's bed?

_Grimmjow_: Yes! It seemed appropriate and I just love Aizen's nickname... the Gay Barney of Soul Society! Hahaha.

_Aizen_: Grimmjow, shut up I am not gay!

_Tosen_: I believe you Aizen... but you... you don't *sniffle* like me?

_Aizen_: Tosen, don't overreact, but you should have known.

_Nnoitra_: Poor Tosen... but Aizen... you read romance novels?

_Aizen_: Yes, now will people just get over that?

_Grimmjow_: Gay Barney! You would kill a kitten! And it was your fault that I lost me ball!

_Aizen_: If you can't deal with killing kittens then you are too weak and how was I supposed to know that Szayel would be 'examining' you when I came in?

_Yammy_: Aizen is right and I am not the stupidest! So in your face!

_Grimmjow_: Shut up Yammy, and Gay Barney I can't believe that you look in a mirror and mutter 'I'm so sexy' because you're not!

_Aizen_: Stop calling me that and I am sexy, just not in such an open way...

_Ulquiorra_: Aizen-sama... I thought you said that you didn't like Tobi...

_Aizen_: I don't, I hate Tobi... but I love Madara, and don't think this is gay!

_Tosen_: Tobi and Madara are the same person... and Gin, you want me dead?

_Gin_: Yes, I don't like coffee. (As if that explains something)

_Aizen_: Tobi and Madara are the same person? I don't believe it!

_Nnoitra_: Really? Because everyone found out soooo long ago and I had no idea you had commitment issues just like me.

_Aizen_: I don't! All of you be quiet so we can read Gin's interview.

Twenty minutes later...

_Aizen_: Nnoitra, you and Orihime had a cat fight?

_Nnoitra_: Yes, she can scratch a lot!

_Grimmjow_: Aizen, I had no idea you secretly liked cute things, are you sure you're not actually Mr. Gay in disguise?

_Aizen_: No! I am not gay and you like cute things too!

_Nnoitra_: Gin you kissed that little boy but you won't even accept me, a grown very sexually frustrated man!

_Gin_: Yes... but me and Toshiro had a bet... that's why.

_Tosen_: Now I will bring justice! Gin I am off to get some eye eating leeches!

~_Silence_~

_Aizen_: Me and Gin do not grope each other!

~_More silence_~

_Aizen_: And this is not a gay brothel!

~_Even more silence_~

_Aizen_: Well since it is so silent I can officially announce that from now on every Espada will pray to me, read from the Aizen bible, and bow and kiss my feet when they see me.

_Everyone_: Too busy to say anything because they are groaning.

_Ulquiorra_: Gin, I just realized that my dream house seems a lot like your dream house.

_Gin_: That's because we both want Aizen! You are my competition!

_Aizen_: Neither of you are competing because I am not gay and Gin... you dream about... ass raping me?

_Gin_: Well... I em... ugh... Yes.

~Silence~

_Ulquiorra_: Wait a second; these will all be published in Soul Society?

_Aizen_: Uh-oh.

_Ulquiorra_: We might as well read Tosen's interview now...

Twenty boring minutes later...

_Aizen_: Szayel, Soul Society is not a 'just' place!

_Nnoitra_: Why does everyone assume that I will rape them?

_Aizen_: Because you will and on that question why does everyone think that I, a very respectable straight man, will rape them or do something dirty?

_Nnoitra_: Because you will and why don't you like me?

_Aizen_: Don't copy my words and I don't like you because you are gay!

_Nnoitra_: *Gasp*

_Grimmjow_: Damn it! I am not the stupidest!

_Gin_: Oh, so it was Tosen's idea to make everything white?

_Tosen_: I'm back with those leeches!

~Silence~

Aizen: I do not have a thing for little boys!

And so ends the Espada Interviews... It was very fun to write, but I can't wait to begin writing my next story! Thank you all for reading. Any thoughts?


End file.
